Folks, it’s looking unlikely that the Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup in 2023. If you need to take a moment to process this news, we will wait.

On the bright side, it’s looking increasingly likely that the eventual Stanley Cup-winning team will include at least one former Washington Capitals player. I think this is fun and good news, but I know opinions may differ.

One thing about us at RMNB is that we are pluralists. There are lots of different ways to be a fan, so we try to serve a big menu. You can be a numbers fan, you can be a personalities fan, you can be a fan who likes physical hockey, you can be a fan who likes finesse. One thing most (but definitely not all) of our readership shares is being a Washington Capitals fan: rooting for that team as a thing, as an identity, as a franchise. That’s a default position among most hockey fans, but sometimes in the course of rooting for a team, you begin rooting for a player on that team. You develop an affinity for that player, and even after that player leaves your preferred team, they’re still a player you enjoy following — despite the change in wardrobe.

For your consideration, I submit that being this kind of fan is also valid. Rooting for a player who is no longer on your preferred team is not a lower form of fanhood, nor is it (necessarily) an act of bitterness or betrayal or even criticism of your preferred team, who parted company with that player. It’s just fun. It’s like you have a nephew, but then he moved across the country, and now you’re just really glad he’s made some nice friends out there.

So it’s okay to root for players over laundry, and now here are some players who might win the Cup wearing their new laundry.

Boston Bruins

Record: 50-11-5
Cup win: 32% according to Dom at the Athletic, 10% according to MoneyPuck
Ex-Caps: Dmitry Orlov, Garnet Hathaway, both acquired by trade

The best team in the league by a mile, the Bruins seem destined for a deep run. Garnet Hathaway has had mixed results in limited minutes since joining the Bs, but Dmitry Orlov has been a superstar, earning a first star of the week for recording nine points in four games.

If they can go all the way, this would be Orlov’s second Cup and Hathaway’s first.

Colorado Avalanche

Record: 38-22-6
Cup win: 10% according to Dom at the Athletic, 2% according to MoneyPuck
Ex-Caps: Lars Eller, acquired by trade

The defending champions don’t look quite so fearsome this year, but I think Eller’s been a smart addition for them in a depth role. He hasn’t produced more than one assist in his eight games, but he’s helped them with puck possession and limited opponent chances.

Eller scored the Cup-winning goal in 2018.

New Jersey Devils

Record: 44-17-6
Cup win: 8% according to Dom at the Athletic, 7% according to MoneyPuck
Ex-Caps: Jonas Siegenthaler (acquired by trade) and Vitek Vanecek (acquired by trade)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: don’t sleep on the Devils. After a long slump, they look scary again:

I’m not informed enough to say what caused the downturn or how they came back, but they’re a damn good team again, and former Caps defender Jonas Siegenthaler is a big reason why. Like his team, Siegenthaler dropped off hard after a Norris-caliber start, but he’s still been successful —  the Devils outscore opponents 70 to 47 during his five-on-five shifts.

Goalie Vitek Vanecek has a 28-8-3 record despite saving .908 in all situations. (p.s. Oh my god, Vanecek’s save percentage in every season so far has been exactly .908, what a freak.) He’s an okay goalie behind an elite team.

This would be the first Cup win for both VV and Seigenthaler.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Record: 40-18-9
Cup win: 7% according to Dom at the Athletic, 11% according to MoneyPuck
Ex-Caps: Erik Gustafsson (acquired by trade) and Ilya Samsonov (free agency)

Toronto has lost in the first round of the playoffs every season since 2017. They have a 98-percent chance of pulling Tampa in the first round. Maybe Erik Gustaffson will help them break through. A former depth defenseman who had an offensive awakening in 2022-23, Gus got flipped to Toronto, where he has not scored a point yet. The Leafs control only 47.7 percent of the expected goals during his 57 minutes of play, so right now this feels like a sell-high win for Brian MacLellan.

Meanwhile, Ilya Samsonov has been proving the haters and losers wrong, putting up a top-ten performance behind a team virtually identical to last year’s Caps at shot suppression.

This would be the first Cup for both players — and the first for Toronto since 1967.

Los Angeles Kings

Record: 39-20-9
Cup win: 2% according to Dom at the Athletic, 6% according to MoneyPuck
Ex-Caps: Pheonix Copley, signed in free agency

I know it feels like the Kings are still lost in the woods, but it’s possible they’ve found their way. They’ve been top ten in expected-goals percentage over the last past 25 games and are 7-1-2 in their last ten. They’ll probably have to go through Seattle or Edmonton in the first round though, so it won’t be an easy path — even in the relatively easy western conference.

Copley came out of nowhere to become their number-one goalie at the end of the last calendar year, and he’s gradually grown more comfortable back there, improving from league-average goaltending to some solid numbers of late. But the Kings acquired Joonas Korpisalo from the Jackets at the deadline, and we’ve already seen Copley’s usage decline.

Sad fact (for him): Copley played for the Caps in 2016, ’17, and ’19, but not in their Cup-winning year of 2018.

Winnipeg Jets

Record: 38-27-3
Cup win: 2% according to Dom at the Athletic, 5% according to MoneyPuck
Ex-Caps: Axel Jonsson-Fjallby (acquired through waivers), Nate Schmidt (traded from Vancouver), Brenden Dillon (acquired by trade)

No one really thinks the Jets are contenders this season, but they made some good moves at the trade deadline by adding Nino Niederreiter and Vladislav Namestnikov, two solid players I like a lot. Anyway, they have a lot of former Capitals on their roster, so I want to talk about them.

While AJF hasn’t suited up for them in two weeks and Schmidt has fallen off steeply since his heights in Vegas, Brenden Dillon has been a reliable defensive defender, slowing down opponent offense when paired with Neal Plonk (great name) and Schmidt.

A long shot, but it’d be the first Cup for all of those guys.

The Field

Marcus Johansson could be a role-player for the Minnesota Wild. Chandler Stephenson has 50 points for the Vegas Golden Knights. It doesn’t feel like the Panthers’ year, but Radko Gudas returned to form as a physical one-way defender once he went to Florida. The Kraken have Daniel Sprong (16 goals, 19 assists, wtf), Andre Burakovsky, and Philipp Grubauer on their surprisingly good roster, who could surprise folks in the postseason.

(I won’t count ex-Cap Jeff Halpern, assistant coach with Tampa, and I refuse to acknowledge Jaroslav Halak, the accursed, who played 12 games for Washington a decade ago.)

Overall, MoneyPuck thinks there’s a 55-percent chance an ex-Capitals player gets his name on the Stanley Cup this summer. According to Dom Luszczyszyn at the Athletic, it’s 69 percent.

Headline photo: Alan Dobbins/Elizabeth Kong/RMNB