The offseason is now in full swing. The Cup has been won, the beards shaved, the players re-signed. Aside from the continuing adventures of the Stanley Cup, there’s not a whole lot happening in the hockey world. Until now! Presenting a new series in which we will finally understand the true nature of the world champion 2017-18 Washington Capitals through the prism of stupid popular culture. I’m calling it Not Up For Debate because everyone everywhere will agree that these are the universal consensus picks.
In this episode: What if the Caps were on Middle-Earth during the events told in Red Book of Westmarch?
Nicklas Backstrom, Elrond
Very serious, very driven, but with a subtle, impish sense of humor.
Jay Beagle, Bill the Pony
Low-key: the greatest horse in the cinematic legendarium universe.
Madison Bowey, Barliman Butterbur
Prove yourself, Madison, and maybe we’ll upgrade you to Madril, ranger of Ithilien.
Andre Burakovsky, Eowyn
Everyone doubts him, but he’s a slayer.
John Carlson, Sandyman
Could be trouble if we don’t pay attention.
Alex Chiasson, Denethor
btw there shouldn’t be tomatoes in middle earth if it’s a post-diluvian/pre-colombian exchange setting thank you goodbye
Taylor Chorney, Theodred
His spirit will find its way to the halls of your fathers
Brett Connolly, Eomer
at dawn of the fifth game look to the third line
Christian Djoos, Shadowfax
You probably thought Lars Ellers was Shadowfax, but you’re wrong, it’s Djoos.
Lars Eller, Glorfindel
The most glam rock elf in Middle-Earth.
Philipp Grubauer, Grima Wormtongue
He knew too much.
Braden Holtby, Theoden
He gave all for his team.
Jakub Jerabek, Isildur
You thought he’d be your savior?
Michal Kempny, Hill-troll
This feels mean, but it’s not. Hill-trolls have great legs.
Evgeny Kuznetsov, Legolas
I would also accept Gwaihir.
Matt Niskanen, Beregond
Captain of the blue line guard.
Dmitry Orlov, Gollum
He did a submariner hip-check on Frodo.
Brooks Orpik, Old Took
Yup.
TJ Oshie, Boromir
He would have followed Ovi to the end.
Alex Ovechkin, Aragorn
My brother, my captain, my king.
Devante Smith-Pelly, Pippin
Speaks truth to power.
Chandler Stephenson, Merry
Loyal and true.
Jakub Vrana, Tom Bombadil
He’s too nice; it doesn’t make sense.
Nathan Walker, Gorbag
Hands off that shiny shirt.
Tom Wilson, Gimli
Obviously.
Though the series is called Not Up For Debate, I’m leaving the comments open. So you can compliment me. For the very good picks. Appreciate the congrats.
