In any given NHL game, there is a greater than 1-in-3 chance that one of the teams is wearing a red jersey. Red is the most common color in the league, but — much like sandwiches — not all reds are created equal.
Finally, someone is brave enough to rank every NHL red. That person is me. This is not up for debate.
D tier
- Arizona Coyotes #8C2633
- Colorado Avalanche #6F263D
One could argue these reds are not reds at all. Co-mingled with blues and only modestly saturated, these reds are wistful, like a forty-year-old blogger who may be wasting his life. That sentimentality is unbecoming of a red, almost bitter. Whatever their virtues, these reds fail as reds, and they deserve our scorn.
#CE1126 tier
- Carolina Hurricanes #CE1126
- New Jersey Devils #CE1126
- Detroit Red Wings #CE1126
These teams all use the same red, which is appropriate given the degree of innovation in the NHL. The high saturation is aloof and snobbish, with a patrician’s regard for your rods and cones. The disrespect is palpable.
B tier
- Chicago Blackhawks #CF0A2C
- Ottawa Senators #DA1A32
- Washington Capitals #C8102E
- Florida Panthers #C8102E
Here now come the reds of the petit bourgeois, the reds of consumption, coarse reds pretending at sophistication. Don’t be deceived. Only Chicago here truly grasps at greatness, while her peers in Washington and Florida are muddied by blue-collar blues.
A tier
- Montreal Canadiens #AF1E2D
This is an adult red, provocative but un-gaudy. This red entices the eye – but subtly, like an expert coquette. This is the kind of red you enjoyed on a long summer afternoon in your youth, now remembered fondly but faded, many decades hence. You can never return.
S tier
- Calgary Flames #D2001C
Now that’s a red! It’s quite nearly #FF0000! This red opens its window to a bustling city and shouts “Red!” as neighbors erupt in rapturous applause. This red inspired both Bono’s (RED) charity and Taylor Swift’s 2012 long-player of the same name, probably. When our civilization crumbles and all we’ve built comes to naught, our posthuman successors will unearth this red and say, “Now, that’s a red! It’s quite nearly #FF0000!”
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