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Misc. You Missed: The Florida Panthers are epically bad huggers.

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The Washington Capitals lost to the Florida Panthers 5-4 in overtime. And while there are a lot of reasons to be concerned about the Capitals’ performance, the most troubling parts of the game were the Florida Panthers’ goal hugs.

If there were any justice in the world the Caps would have engulfed Braden Holtby in an OT winning on-ice hug-swarm but instead we had to watch the Panthers high-five each other. Ugh.

The Caps did get one point in the standings, four extraordinary hugs, and the smug satisfaction that comes with being Stanley Cup Champions and way better at hugging than the Panthers. Let’s break it down.

Pregame

Tigers don’t need stripes when plaid and polka dots are an option.

Future Captain and Foster Dog Mom Tom Wilson got some accurate analysis in the NBCSN pregame show.

Stanley Cup Champion Alex Ovechkin is an underrated baton twirler.

During the “Game”

If you want to know what happened with the hockey part of the game you can revel in Ms. Bailey’s beautiful recap, add up Mr. Cerullo’s numbers the morning after, or look at this GIF of Kuzy.

Birthday boy Andre Burakovsky landed a huge check. Or, as Twitter user @ohmajelisabeth put it: “bear-a-cow-sky says mooo, bish, get out da way.”

Braden Holtby didn’t look great in net but he did look great.

Dmitry Orlov’s nickname on the team is Snarls, but can we all agree that nickname would be more appropriate for Nicklas Backstrom than the mundane “Backy?”

HUGS!

We’re starting with the enemy’s hugs today so that we end on a positive note and aren’t left with a bad taste in our mouths. In our minds? Our minds’ mouths.

Guest star hug analyst: my mother.

The “What Even Is This” Hug

It was obvious that there was something wrong with the Panthers from their very first goal hug of the night. Despite the neatly circular huddle formation and former Capital Troy Brouwer’s bongo head boops, it’s more of a gathering than a group hug.

The “Close But No Cigar” Hug

Noted Broadway fan Keith Yandle and floofy puppy dad Aaron Ekblad almost make this hug half-way decent. But the fist-bumps, which are an emotionally distancing maneuver, put an end to any attempt at intimacy.

The “This Is A Travesty” Hug

Third goal of the game. Other than a caress on the back of the helmet from Mike Hoffman–aka, where no physical contact can be felt–it’s all awkward elbows.

The “One-Fifth of a Hug” Hug

Derick Brassard is still adjusting to being a Panther. After scoring the fourth goal of the game, and his first with his new team, he almost forgot that Hockey Hugs Aren’t For Panthers.

Evgenii Dadonov snuck in a quick actual hug, but when more Panthers showed up they settled for the emotional equivalent of a bro pat on the back.

The “They Should Revoke This Goal” Hug

Why even bother winning if all you’re going to do to celebrate is high-five.

Bush-league level play. The Panthers should be ashamed of themselves.

This was arguably the Panthers’ best hug of the game.

CAPITALS HUGS!

The “Blasé Brett” Hug

Brett Connolly scores goals with a “What, like it’s hard?” energy and had himself a two-goal, three-point night. (Also: note Christian Djoos going over-the-shoulder with his hug despite being significantly-shorter-than-Brett.)

The “Can we get a redo?” Hug

Lars Eller’s shot bounced off the back crossbar and by the time the referees confirmed that it was a good goal he was back on the bench. All he got was a fist-bump from Jakub Vrana and a nice nudge from Nic Dowd.

The “DJOOOOOOS!!!!!!” Hug

The may have been Connolly’s second goal of the night but the highlight of it is Lars Eller. Christian Djoos made his return to the line-up and Eller’s joyful smile as Djoos djoins the hug is a thing of beauty.

The “Last Goal of the Night” Hug

Even though Kuznetsov’s fourth goal of the game was the Capitals last hurrah of the evening, Alex Ovechkin gave us reason to keep the faith. He possesses the rare ability to close a goal hug before all participants have arrived, but re-open the huddle just in time for the incoming huggers. A remarkable athlete.

Postgame

In conclusion: this is Aaron Ekblad’s dog.

Full RMNB Coverage of Caps vs Panthers

Headline photo: Rob Carr

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