You were so kind as to fill out the Happiness Survey once the Caps hit the twenty game mark, thank you. This instance of the survey is the first of the season, and it finds the Washington Capitals at a crossroads. We have some new names on the survey – but some other names may be appearing on it for the last time.
What follows it the executive summary, written just for you, an ambitious member of the C-suite, laser-focused on Q1, wearing a turtleneck and suit jacket like you always do.
We had just over 2000 respondents. As a reminder, the survey is entirely feelings-based. Here’s how we word it:
On a scale from 1 to 5, how HAPPY are you to have this player on the team?
1 means VERY UNHAPPY TO HAVE THEM ON THE TEAM
2 means UNHAPPY
3 means NEITHER HAPPY NOR UNHAPPY
4 means HAPPY
5 means VERY HAPPY TO HAVE THEM ON THE TEAM
I have taken the liberty of organizing the players into tiers.
Hard Carry Tier
They’re leading the Washington Capitals right now.
- Tom Wilson 4.62 ± 0.68
- Dylan Strome 4.61 ± 0.63
- Charlie Lindgren 4.57 ± 0.68
- Connor McMichael 4.47 ± 0.72
These are also the points leaders, missing Ovechkin. The standout is 23-year-old Connor McMichael, who finally seems at home in Washington.
Surprise Tier
Why did we rate these players here?
- Sonny Milano 4.09 ± 0.84
- Nic Dowd 4.03 ± 0.87
Dowd and Milano are two players who are struggling this season. Dowd is either playing through something or is tied to poor linemates or both. Milano just returned from a healthy scratch to score a game-winner. In either case, I’m surprised you scored them highly. Explain yourselves in comments.
Ovi Tier
The tier with Ovi in it, except lower than usual.
- Alex Ovechkin 4.05 ± 1.15
The lowest Ovechkin has scored in the Survey by half a point. The goals are coming, I swear.
Some Guys Tier
A bunch of fine fellas in Caps uniforms.
- Rasmus Sandin 3.83 ± 0.85
- Martin Fehervary 3.82 ± 0.84
- Aliaksei Protas 3.75 ± 0.83
- Beck Malenstyn 3.61 ± 0.88
- Trevor van Riemsdyk 3.56 ± 0.86
- Hendrix Lapierre 3.53 ± 0.83
Malenstyn and Lapierre are maybe punching above their weight, but nothing is too out of place here.
Debatelord Tier
Let’s fight about it.
- John Carlson 3.58 ± 1.10
- TJ Oshie 3.51 ± 1.17
- Anthony Mantha 3.13 ± 1.01
- Nick Jensen 3.06 ± 1.03
Oshie’s had poor finishing and injuries. Mantha’s line is decent this year but his position on the roster is in doubt. Jensen’s definitely having trouble. And you people remain ungrateful for John Carlson, though I guess it’d be nice if he could assist Ovechkin on a power-play goal.
Aspire Tier
Let’s put a positive spin on it and say these players have room for improvement.
- Nicolas Aube-Kubel 3.26 ± 0.79
- Alexander Alexeyev 3.08 ± 0.73
- Joel Edmundson 2.98 ± 0.85
- Matthew Phillips 2.91 ± 0.89
- Lucas Johansen 2.83 ± 0.76
- Darcy Kuemper 2.78 ± 1.05
Here’s a bunch of marginal players, a group that feels disproportionately large on the 2023-24 Washington Capitals. You’ve got nominal AHLers like Alexeyev and Johansen, a new and unproven fit in Edmundson, and – most significantly – Darcy Kuemper, who is saving below .900 for the first time in his career. He’ll rebound.
Shelf Tier
They’ll be back. They’ll probably be back.
- Nicklas Backstrom 2.98 ± 1.41
- Max Pacioretty 2.66 ± 0.97
Pacioretty isn’t really a Cap yet, but he will be soon. Backstrom will be back any day now. Any. Day Now.
Uh Oh Tier
- Evgeny Kuznetsov 1.92 ± 1.07
I thought this was the lowest a player has ever scored on the Happiness Survey, but you goblins rated Anthony Mantha a 1.83 in February. Kuznetsov has been on a rollercoaster – as low as a 2.2 and as high as a 4.4. This is his new low, but he’s got points in two straight games.
Have we any opinions… about our opinions?
Headline photo: Alan Dobbins/RMNB
