Aside from the unbearable pain of the Capitals playing terribly, the first round was every bit as exciting as I hoped it would be. Now the stakes get higher, even if we are no longer buried in games.

Prediction time!

Haaave you met Keith?

(Pictured: Keith I, whom I lost)

Keith, a Coin, II, is a 1990 quarter minted in Pennsylvania. Keith II was lost for some time, so his son Keith III inherited his lands and titles, to the woe of the peasants. But now Keith II is back, and he’s gonna I dunno kill his son or something. It’s a lot of work to invent a feudal backstory about a quarter. Anyway, he is right about half of the time.

Here’s how it’s gone so far, using the universal 🚽 and 🌮 score-keeping system.

Vegas ⚔️ vs Vancouver 🐋

Peter: Ah, this is a great matchup. I see the appeal of Vancouver now. As my colleagues put it, they have a combo of fun young fellas plus gritty vets. I like them now. They are the new Sharks. I still think Vegas will wash them though. Knights in 6.

Ian: The Vegas Golden Knights looked quite impressive in the first round but the Vancouver Canucks, led by Jay Beagle and other young doods who I guess are good too, now have all of Canada behind them. I predict an upset! Canucks in 7.

Keith, a coin: Canucks.

Colorado 🏔️ vs Dallas ⭐

Peter: Andre is winning board battles, blocking shots, and then not missing a shift. I’m sorry to say it, but it’s over for everyone else. He’s a complete player, mentally strong or whatever that’s supposed to be. The Stars got lucky against a holey Flames team. Won’t happen here. Avs in 5.

Ian: The Colorado Avalanche are the best team in the postseason and Andre Burakovksy Nathan MacKinnon is the best player left in the loffs. The Avs are firing on all cylinders and they’re going to demolish the Stars. Avs in 4.

Keith, a coin: Avs.

New York 🏝️ vs Philadelphia 🐦

Peter: Did Barry Trotz’s Isles establish their identity and build a viable path to a Cup championship? No, they just went up against a well-scouted Caps team that was unprepared. The Flyers are a lot stronger, and they’ll prove it– even if this is the JV of eastern conference matchups. Flyers in 6.

Ian: The Islanders looked like world-beaters last round, but they’re not. Philadelphia, who goes to the hard areas of the ice and is getting strong goaltending from Carter Hart, is the better team. Flyers in 7.

Keith, a coin: Islanders.

Tampa Bay ⚡ vs Boston 🐻

Peter: This series will be competent hockey by uncharismatic robots, and I’m dreading it. I’ll watch, but I can’t promise I’ll enjoy it. The Stamkos-less Bolts are darn good squad, but the Bruins didn’t just accidentally win the President’s Trophy. Bruins in 6.

Ian: The Tampa Bay Lightning pulled out their first-round series against a very game Columbus Blue Jackets, but I just don’t think the motivation will be there. And I’m skeptical their brand of perimeter and skill hockey will stand up well against Boston. Bruins in 7.

Keith, a coin: Bolts.

Share your picks below. Do “Team in # of games” so it’s easier to read for a grumpus like me.

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