It’s that time o’ the year again, boys and ghouls and babes: Caps Halloween is upon us. Instead of rating da boys on their Corsi and Fenwick or whatever, we will now rate them using the eye test. For their costumes.
After extensive research and focus group feedback, we have divided the costume criteria into three categories: Party Vibes, Arts And Crafts, and Unproblematicness.
A dance line of chorus girls would be 🎃🎃🎃 out of three pumpkins for Party Vibes, a papier-mâché version of Braden Holtby’s tortoise would be 🎃🎃🎃 out of three pumpkins for Arts and Crafts, and a Native American outfit worn by a non-Native American person would be 🎃 out of three pumpkins for Unproblematicness, etc.
Those are the rules. Here are the costumes.
Nick Jensen
Costume: Mexican “Day of the Dead” skeleton (with bonus dancing about the Nationals during the party)
Party Vibes: 🎃 🎃 🎃
Arts And Crafts: 🎃 🎃
Unproblematicness: 🎃
TOTAL: 6/9 pumpkins, nice
Alex Ovechkin and Nastya Ovechkina
Costume: Coach and Referee
Party Vibes: 🎃 🎃
Arts And Crafts: 🎃
Unproblematicness: 🎃 🎃 🎃
TOTAL: 6/9 pumpkins, nice
Photo: @leipah
Brendan Leipsic and Friend
Costume: Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro
Party Vibes: 🎃 🎃
Arts And Crafts: 🎃 🎃
Unproblematicness: 🎃 🎃 🎃
TOTAL: 7/9 pumpkins
Photo: @tomwilson
Tom Wilson and Taylor Pischke
Costume: Wolverine and Mystique
Party Vibes: 🎃 🎃
Arts And Crafts: 🎃
Unproblematicness: 🎃 🎃 🎃
TOTAL: 6/9 pumpkins, nice
(P.S. Taylor would have 7/9 on her own btw)
Photo: @@tylerlewington
Jonas Siegenthaler and Tyler Lewington
Costume: someone in lederhosen and a beer
Party Vibes: 🎃 🎃 🎃
Arts And Crafts: 🎃 🎃 🎃
Unproblematicness: 🎃 🎃
TOTAL: 8/9 pumpkins
Nic and Paige Dowd
Costume: Juno
Party Vibes: 🎃
Arts And Crafts: 🎃
Unproblematicness: 🎃 🎃 🎃
TOTAL: 6/9 pumpkins [+1 handicap for the knee injury]
Carl Hagelin and Radko Gudas
Costume: Jax and Opie from “Sons of Anarchy”
Party Vibes: 🎃 🎃
Arts And Crafts: 🎃 🎃
Unproblematicness: 🎃 🎃 🎃
TOTAL: 7/9 pumpkins
The winner, with 14/9 pumpkins, is…
Headline image: @nastyashubskaya
