The offseason is now in full swing. The Cup has been won, the beards shaved, the players re-signed. Aside from the continuing adventures of the Stanley Cup, there’s not a whole lot happening in the hockey world. Until now! Presenting a new series in which we will finally understand the true nature of the world champion 2017-18 Washington Capitals through the prism of stupid popular culture. I’m calling it Not Up For Debate because everyone everywhere will agree that these are the universal consensus picks.
In this episode: What if the Caps were the Beatles?
Nicklas Backstrom, George
Quiet, sure, but he’s also a total wizard at his craft.
Jay Beagle, John
Relied on heavily by his mates. Rated, um, maybe too highly?
Madison Bowey, Paul
Fun, sure, but not as a fun as…
Andre Burakovsky, Ringo
…the funnest.
John Carlson, Paul
All the preppy kids and soc’s prefer this guy.
Alex Chiasson, George
Easy to overlook…
Taylor Chorney, Stuart Sutcliffe
…but not as easy to overlook as some.
Brett Connolly, George
I could also entertain a Ringo pick here.
Christian Djoos, John
Future superstar.
Lars Eller, George
The Caps would shallower and less dynamic without him.
Philipp Grubauer, Paul
His face will be on the posters on the walls of millions of Colorado children soon.
Braden Holtby, John
He’s more famous than god, but he has zero time for that nonsense.
Jakub Jerabek, John
I dunno. Too many J’s in his name not to be a John. I’ll admit this was a weak pick. There are only four Beatles, folks.
Michal Kempny, Ringo
Probably a monster on the kick drum, am I right? (Because of the thighs.)
Evgeny Kuznetsov, John
There’s a lot of Johns on this team.
Matt Niskanen, John
Here’s another John.
Dmitry Orlov, Paul
Too much fun to be a John.
Brooks Orpik, John
Peak John.
TJ Oshie, Paul
Paul just doffed his fedora at you, so yeah. Oshie.
Alex Ovechkin, Paul
Two modes: bored and partying, so this is an obvious pick.
Devante Smith-Pelly, Paul
Undefeatable.
Chandler Stephenson, John
Oh, look, another John.
Jakub Vrana, Paul
Paul didn’t write a lot of songs at first, and Jakub didn’t get a lot of ice time at first.
Nathan Walker, Pete Best
This was a layup.
Tom Wilson, Ringo
Obviously.
Though the series is called Not Up For Debate, I’m leaving the comments open. So you can compliment me. For the very good picks. Appreciate the congrats.
