Twenty sixteen was a mess. It was swirling chaos in which the things we depend on vanished and in their place came a grim mockery of fairness and equanimity. Appropriate then that the final Caps game of 2016 was refereed by Marc Joannette. The zebraman of the apocalypse tooted his evil whistle early and often, intending to make this the game of his will. The Capitals did not comply.
Andre Burakovsky sent a perfect pass to Brett Connolly to open up scoring, but scoring paused there once John Moore was injured by Tom Wilson. Later, Jay Beagle tapped in a point shot by Brooks Orpik to set a tone of eschatological ruin.
The second period was lousy with penalties. A three-on-three and an errant pass from Kyznetsov gave Kyle Palmieri a chance to score that he did not miss. But then the Caps erupted with three goals in six minutes: Oshie, Ovechkin, and Williams all struck before the second intermission.
Beau Bennett scored for the Devils in the third, but Marcus Johansson responded immediately.
Caps beats Devils 6-2!
Six goals! Let’s finish this year off with some Enrique!
|1||8:34||OVECHKIN||Illegal check to head|
|1||19:47||ELLER||Interference on goalkeeper|
|2||8:21||TEAM||Too many men/ice – bench|
|2||12:15||WILLIAMS||Holding the stick|
|3||0:13||OSHIE||Too much hair|
|3||0:14||BURAKOVSKY||Too cute – cannot even|
|3||1:11||ORPIK||Excessive clip art in powerpoint|
|3||1:15||ELLER||Double dipping the chip|
|3||2:13||WINNIK||Belt doesn’t match shoes|
|3||5:15||BEAGLE||Does not text back promptly|
|3||6:42||SCHMIDT||Stop smiling so much|
|3||11:12||CONNOLLY||Keeps putting Tame Impala on party mixes|
|3||14:16||KUZNETSOV||Failed to Venmo me back for Qdoba last week|
|3||17:45||GRUBAUER||Still does manual retweets|
So far this is worst officiated game I've seen #Capitals involved in this season.
— Alan May (@MayHockeyNBCS) December 31, 2016
— elyse (@ElyseBee) December 31, 2016
Joe B suit of the early afternoon here at the end of all things
I’m torn on this one. This was an ugly game with a horrifying injury about which honest people will disagree. But it was also an unpredictable, high-scoring matchup where the better team won.
Friends, have a safe and happy new years eve, and let’s do this again tomorrow.
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