When CSN Mid-Atlantic announced that former Caps player and current Caps analyst Alan May would participate in a Reddit AMA (“Ask Me Anything” for the n00bs), we knew we were in for a treat. May did not disappoint.

In the wide-ranging crowdsourced interview on Tuesday evening, May addressed everything from the current state of the Capitals and what they still need to make a serious Cup run, to his favorite beer and where RMNB’s Ian Oland ranks on the Alan May Scale of Awesomeness (spoiler alert: “you are a zero.zero”).

He also shared the funniest chirp he’s heard from between the benches during coverage of a Caps game.

May:

“Eric Fehr asked Zenon Konopka if he was going to be a referee because he argued every call on ice and then said he’d probably need to be one the next year because he sucked as a player and would need a new job.”

Good one, Eric. Miss you.

Here a few more key takeaways from May’s AMA:

What pieces do the Capitals still need to make a Cup run?

“Caps still need another right handed defenseman. Madison Bowey needs 2 years of solid development in the AHL and then he’ll be an NHLer that resembles Niskanen and Alzner”

Who did Alan most enjoy punching in the face?

“I wish I could say Tie Domi, but punching him in the face did nothing. He just smiled and tried to take your head off after that evil smile. It always felt great to punch kris king, he was such an agitator for the Rangers”

Best prank?

“[T]he guy that snuck into Caps dressing room in the 90’s and put hotstuff in every single players socks, underwear, shirts, pants and suit jacket, while team was on the ice practicing. when practice was over the team went straight to airport and thats when the heat kicked in and kicked every single player’s ass.”

With all the gold in this AMA, we can forget that May identified Mike Milbury and John Tortorella as his favorite coaches from his playing days. Yikes.

Big thanks to /r/hockey for making this happen!