Want to give the gift of RMNB for Christmas? You still have time to get your orders in our merch store, but several shipping deadlines are quickly approaching.
On December 9, 2009, RMNB wrote its first post. 10 years, 15,000 articles, and a crazy 96 million pageviews later, we are living our dream and are now somehow one of the biggest independent hockey websites in the world.
Today, we thank you for your passion and for giving us the encouragement to do this every day. We’ve covered a Stanley Cup Final, a World Series, two championship parades, and (accidentally) one of the biggest astronomical events in a century. Since 2009, we’ve covered every Capitals game (and World Championship and Olympics). We’ve been on the radio and TV (thanks, Uncle Ted!). We’ve created some of your favorite (and dumbest) shirts in your wardrobe. We’ve hosted over 15 parties. And most importantly to us, some of those parties have spawned relationships that now include marriage and children. We’ve, hopefully, made your experience rooting for the Capitals better.
Here’s a special Cyber Week offer you’ll only find on RMNB. From December 2 through 8, you can get 66% off a subscription to The Athletic. Don’t miss out! Redeem now.
On Monday, December 9, 2019, our website, Russian Machine Never Breaks, will celebrate its tenth anniversary. (Come to our party!). Over the years, lots of people expressed puzzlement at why we named our hockey website after the United States’ geopolitical rival.
The name is actually a quote uttered by Alex Ovechkin thirteen years ago. Recently I spoke to The Athletic’s Tarik El-Bashir, the beat writer who first reported the viral quote, about its origin.
Hi, I’m here to notify you that you now have plans for Friday night. And anything else you thought you were doing is now canceled.
I am, in the words of Alan May, coming out of mom’s basement to compete in a Bar Battle with, in the words of May again, the most tan, the most handsome, and the most captivating analyst in hockey media, Alan May.
When we’re not chirping or threatening bodily harm at each other, we are going to make you drinks at Penn Quarter Sports Tavern to help raise money for The Bahamas Disaster Relief Fund. I am told I will be “making” $6 Great 8 cocktails and Alan will be pouring $6 Optimal Wit pints from 8 – 9:30pm. Whoever gets more of their signature drink ordered and served, wins not only the night but full bragging rights for the rest of time. RSVP here.
And I promise, if I win, I will never forget.
The Washington Capitals’ informal practice got a little bit hairy on Monday and no, I’m not talking about Braden Holtby’s neckbeard.
Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin suffered a left leg injury during a scrimmage. According to The Athletic’s Tarik El-Bashir, Ovechkin was in “a lot of discomfort” and needed help getting to the dressing room. NHL.com’s Tom Gulitti saw him fall awkwardly and “heard him yell” in pain.
Nearly 10 years ago, I started RMNB with Peter Hassett. RMNB was a side project then. Now hockey is life. And for many of you, the same is true.
I wear hockey shirts every day (ask my friends), my basement is a hockey shrine, and I drive around with hockey sticks (and a baby seat) in the backseat of my car. That sounds … pretty passionate. But if you ask me, there’s another level I can go to.
Which is why I want to introduce you to my new design creation: the RMNB mouse pad. It’s an ice rink… on a mouse pad.
I am buying it. You should too.
A lot of people don’t consider Washington DC a hockeytown. Y’all should probably do that for now on.
Early Friday morning, RMNB’s August 24 book signing event with Steve Dangle officially soldout. Dangle is a Sportsnet personality and YouTube sensation who covers the Toronto Maple Leafs and the NHL nationally. He is signing copies of his book This Team is Ruining My Life (But I Love Them): How I Became a Professional Hockey Fan. August is typically the deadest month of the year for hockey news and enthusiasm, but not on this day in the DMV.
“Apparently Washington DC stands for Washington Does Cometobookevents that are technically in Virginia,” Dangle said to me in an excited message. “LISTEN. I’m jacked to meet you all! Tom Wilson is a Torontonian.”
We’re proud to announce that we’re bringing Sportsnet contributor and YouTube sensation Steve Dangle down to Washington DC on Saturday, August 24, to sign copies of his hit book This Team is Ruining My Life (But I Love Them): How I Became a Professional Hockey Fan. The book details Steve’s incredible odyssey, from self-starting Toronto Maple Leafs-lover to sports-media star.
One More Page Books, an independent book store in Arlington, VA (which is run by Caps fans), will be hosting the signing from 2-4pm. Get your tickets now as they are going really, really fast. Later that night, we will be hosting a party at Walters Sports Bar with Steve from 6-9pm.
“Hoooo-EEEE! I’m so excited to come to DC!!!” Dangle said to me in a text message.
Us too, Steve. Us too.
We decided to hold a contest earlier in the week after Vivid Seats was kind enough to offer RMNB a pair of two free tickets for Game Five. The challenge for RMNB readers was to post a photo wearing an RMNB t-shirt or hold up one of our Not Suck Back 2 Back signs and tag us on our Instagram page.
Friday, we picked and notified our two winners, Kim and Tucker.
On Saturday, April 20, the Washington Capitals will host the Carolina Hurricanes for Game Five. With our new contest, you could be there live and in the flesh. For free.
Here’s how you can win lower-bowl tickets.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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