The Capitals lost Game 6. It’s time to collectively practice our deep breathing and visualize goalie hug piles in Capital One Arena on Wednesday.
For a look at all the hockey that happened, the truly lovely Mr. Hasset has the recap ready. For math nerds, the cunning Mr. Cerullo has the numbers the morning after. For everything else, here’s misc.
Three Rockstars of the Game
Carl Hagelin’s Blue Steel
That Carl Hagelin. So hot fast right now.
Dmitry Orlov’s lil bunny hop
He go *whee!*
Alex Ovechkin
Naw seriously y’all, sometimes it’s easy to forget how lucky we are to have a captain who can score, celly, and hug like this. Just because he does it a lot doesn’t mean we shouldn’t appreciate it.
Ovi’s like Oreo milkshakes. They don’t get less awesome the more you treat yo self. Unless you’re lactose intolerant, in which case, dairy-free milkshakes are probably not as good. Y’all please supply your own metaphorical food equivalent to Alex Ovechkin’s goal-scoring and let me know.
Before the “Game”
Devante Smith-Pelly and Tom Wilson have altered a pregame routine that used to be naught but a shoulder bump. Now it looks like they’re dizzy kiddos who just got off a tilt-a-whirl ride.
The Caps are working hard along the boards. Sort of. In a way. Tandem seasick twirling is key to winning championships probably. #ALLCAPS pic.twitter.com/KALB9JG4vU
— b. (@youripides) April 22, 2019
During the “Game”
Alright friends. Brace yourself. It’s finally happened. There was a short period of time during which Wilson was not aesthetically pleasing.
Alex Ovechkin got a misconduct for Caring Too Much, probably. He’s just applauding! That’s supportive energy! Are the refs going to kick the crowd out of the arena every time they clap? I THINK NOT.
is this a golf clap pic.twitter.com/P8x92dOosd
— b. (@youripides) April 23, 2019
Considering that he’s frequently sandwiched between thick slices of bread Wilson and Ovechkin, people often forget that Nicklas Bäckström is thicc in his own right. Justin Williams will likely not forget again.
justin williams: *snows holtby*
nicklas bäckström: *casually knocks a bitch over* pic.twitter.com/LYGtoUUTS7— b. (@youripides) April 23, 2019
Shenanigans
Playoff games are typically quite unbalanced and favor Fighting over the misc-approved content of Scrums, Unfriendly Misunderstandings, Tomfoolery, and Tiny Tussles. This game had a shenanigan that was fun for everyone except Braden Holtby, who deserves better.
alas. the fighting has driven poor holtby from his home. pic.twitter.com/GRfsf7wK9R
— b. (@youripides) April 22, 2019
HUGS!
The “HECK YEAH BRETT” Hug
Andre Burakovsky and Jonas Siegenthaler need to learn some patience because when they grow up, they could really hurt somebody with this uncoordinated leaping. Hopefully elite goal-scorer and puck-giver Brett Connolly can teach them to take turns.
It is encouraging to see that Siegenthaler has followed the other Caps’ defensemen’s habit of bopping their buds on the head.
The “Big Boys” Hug
They’re big and they hug good.
*single tear* they're so beautiful pic.twitter.com/RDKUKSCYry
— b. (@youripides) April 22, 2019
The hug that was not meant to be. 🙁
Evgeny Kuznetsov’s dream of scoring a wraparound goal will never come true and he should maybe stop trying it. HOWEVER: This hug is a prime example of the impact a veteran defenseman can have on a hug. Brooks Orpik bops heads like a boss. Take notes, Jonas.
idk about the goal but this hug is good pic.twitter.com/JyKpWVgHTd
— b. (@youripides) April 23, 2019
The Capitals’ next game is Wednesday. Let’s do this thing, fam.
