In 2017 the Washington Capitals faced the Toronto Maple Leafs in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Down 2-1, it was a tight series, with the Caps relying on their power play (then coached by Blaine Forsythe) for a big chunk of their scoring. Compounding problems was the other end of the ice, where the Leafs were outmatching the Caps in dangerous chances, 39 to 30. With their offense foundering and Toronto getting lots of zone time, Washington grew frustrated.

For a while this frustration was indescribable. Then defender Kevin Shattenkirk took the microphone. “We’re kinda getting a little too horny getting in there,” he said, changing the course of history forever.

The full quote goes like this, with me bolding the part that I’m childishly fixated on:

When they’re chipping pucks in, we need to do a better job of being patient. There are times when they’re beating us to the puck so we just need to let the one-on-ones happen. We’re kinda getting a little too horny getting in there and exposing, and they’re able to keep those pucks alive. Once we’re losing one, two guys in the battles, that’s when they have that time and space to make plays happen. We just come to the net front, stop, and let the one-on-one happen, we’ll be fine.

I admit I don’t know if this is a thing hockey players have said for decades or if Shattenkirk invented something new right then. I just know this hockey player used the word horny to describe hockey in front of a camera, so now I’m allowed to use that word to describe hockey whenever I want.

Ovi floating DEEP on the forecheck. Someone hose him down he's so horny for the hatty.

— RMNB (@rmnb) February 5, 2020

Every time Kuzy goes below the goal line with the puck you just KNOW he is super horny for a lacrosse goal

— RMNB (@rmnb) January 4, 2020

We have claimed, for Hockey Twitter purposes, exclusive use of the verb phrase “should of”(which may or may not be ironical), “SCOAR”, and various applications of “horny”. Additionally, we hereby claim our nephew Andre if, in fact,.,/,

— RMNB (@rmnb) November 4, 2020

To me — and please correct me if I’m wrong here — the proper dictionary definition goes like this:

The Capitals went on beat the Leafs in six games before losing to the Penguins in seven. Shattenkirk scored one very big goal in that series, but was involved in trouble at the other end of the ice as well.

Shattenkirk went on to win the Stanley Cup with the Tampa Bay Lightning in 2020. He played most recently for the lowly Anaheim Ducks. At age 34, he’s a free agent this summer. I wonder if he’s horny for a new deal.

Headline image: Capitals, RMNB