We are halfway through the best tournament in sports, so here comes predictions from two guys who think they know hockey, one guy who really knows hockey, and one supernatural savant piece of US legal tender who guessed all four series correctly last round.
Keith, a Coin, is a 2002 quarter minted in Pennsylvania. He knows nothing about hockey but somehow he guesses right about half of the time. That’s the bit. Well, two bits to be precise.
Special guest predictor Keith Aucoin played 145 NHL games across nine seasons. He was the Joe Thornton of the AHL, racking up 613 assists in 769 nice games. Also he’s a very good sport for hanging out with us here.
Our results appear below, using the universally understood 🚽/🌮 score-keeping system.
|FLA beat WSH||🌮||🚽||🌮||🌮|
|TBL beat TOR||🚽||🌮||🚽||🌮|
|CAR beat BOS||🌮||🚽||🚽||🚽|
|NYR beat PIT||🚽||🌮||🌮||🚽|
|COL beat NSH||🌮||🌮||🌮||🌮|
|STL beat MIN||🚽||🚽||🚽||🚽|
|CGY beat DAL||🌮||🌮||🌮||🌮|
|EDM beat LA||🚽||🚽||🌮||🌮|
|TBL beat FLA||🌮||🚽||🚽||🌮|
|NYR beat CAR||🚽||🌮||🚽||🌮|
|COL beat STL||🌮||🌮||🌮||🌮|
|EDM beat CGY||🚽||🌮||🌮||🌮|
Peter: I’ve been wrong about the Rangers in every series so far. Shesterkin’s been mostly great, but they’ve had good performances from Fox and Zibanejad as well. I’m ready to be wrong about them for the third time. The Bolts are better than the Penguins and the Canes (who were not quite as fearsome as I thought). Tampa in 6.
Ian: Tampa Bay seems like the logical choice here because of Andrei Vasilevskiy’s absolutely lights-out performance in Round Two, but my tiny brain cannot fathom a team in the salary cap era making three straight Stanley Cup Finals. New York in 7.
Keith, a coin: New York in 5.
Keith Aucoin, actually: I had both these teams losing their series last round, so I’ve been way off in the East. I thought the Lightning seemed to run out of gas towards the end of the season but I was wrong. They look like the team that has been dominating the last two years. Tampa in 6.
Peter: The greatest hockey player in the league will deliver his team to victory. The twist? It’s Cale Makar, who I think has an answer for Connor McDavid. I think we’re gonna see Nazem Kadri turn McDavid’s mental into that creepy clown song that cartoons use. But this is gonna be a fun series. I hope it goes the distance. Colorado in 7.
Ian: Best skating defenseman versus the best skating forward in the game? Ooh Wee. What a series. I honestly would love to see an upset here and watch Connor McDavid finally get to the Stanley Cup Final. That’d be so great for the game, but I imagine the Avs’ defense will be able to do more than enough to shut the door here. That’s why around these parts McDavid is The Second Best Connor Mc in the game. Colorado in 5.
Keith, a coin: Colorado in 7.
Keith Aucoin, actually: This will be a fun series to watch with some of the best players in the NHL going head-to-head. Should be a high-scoring series. I am going to go with the Avalanche. They have been the best team in NHL all season. It’s not going to be easy to stop McDavid as he is best player in the world and playing at a high level, but the Avs have the depth and will find a way to win the series. Colorado in 6.
Please share your predictions below. Say the team city and the number of games. Then make fun of our picks.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.