The first round of the loffs went exactly — EXACTLY —  as we all expected. Sid, Ovi, and Connor all got eliminated, and John Tavares almost died.

Time for our round two predictions– even tho round one has not technically ended yet. We can wait no longer.

Hey. Have you met Keith?

Keith, a Coin, is a 2002 quarter minted in Pennsylvania. He knows eff all about hockey but he is still right about half of the time, which is the very belabored point of this whole bit.

Our results will appear in the table below, using the universally understood 🚽/🌮 score-keeping system.

Colorado ❄️ vs Vegas ⚔️

Peter: Avs have been resting for like a full week now. They’re down Nazem Kadri for probably this whole series, but I think they’ve got the edge here, but it’ll be close as they face the fearsome Chandler Stephenson. Colorado in 7.

Ian: [Ian is away from keyboard right now, getting well deserved rest, so he was able to provide only his predictions. I will therefore make up his justifications for his predictions. – Peter] The Avs have much better uniforms and have never invited Gene Simmons of KISS to anything as far as I know. Colorado in 7.

Keith, a coin: Vegas.

Winnipeg ✈️ vs Montreal 🍟

Peter: If Toronto can close out their first round series, they’ll face a very hot goalie in Connor Hellebuyck. I think they can beat him, but I think it’ll be close again. Toronto in 7. (If the Habs somehow clutch out the first round, I’ll take Winnipeg in 7.)

Ian: Once the Leafs get over their first round troubles, they should have no trouble with the underwhelming Jets offense, Matty P excepted. Toronto in 6.

Keith, a coin: Winnipeg.

Tampa ⚡️ vs Carolina 🌀

Peter: Ack, this will be a great series. Tampa’s recently injured, salary-cap-agile team against Carolina’s young guns, plus two amazing goalies. I’m psyched to watch, and I’ll take Carolina in 6.

Ian: The bunch of jerks are facing a superior team in the defending champions. Cheaters, err, I mean Tampa in 5.

Keith, a coin: Carolina.

New York 🏝 vs Boston 🧸️

Peter: I’m very bummed about this series, which I don’t think will be close. The Islanders are not going to be able to keep shots from the Hall and Bergeron lines on the outside forever. Boston in 5.

Ian: The team that stomped the Caps will not have such an easy time with Barry’s more defensively responsible Islanders, but they will still get the job done. Boston in 7.

Keith, a coin: Boston.

Share your picks below. Do Team in # of games so it’s easier to read for a grumpus like Peter.