On Monday night, Garnet Hathaway spat his spit at an opponent. This was, we can all agree, naughty. Outraged, wandering defenseman Erik Gudbranson called the spitting incident “about as low as you can get.”
Here now is the Official and Final ranking of Low Things You Should Not Do in Hockey Games.
From highest to “as low as you can get”:
- Calling everyone on the other team “game seven” or “big shoots”
- Having smelly gear
- Taking a shot after the whistle
- Facewashing
- Hot stick celly
- Spitting your spit at another person
- Anti-celly retributive violence
- Snowing the goalie
- Hacking at dudes’ legs from behind the play
- Any messing with Andre Burakovsky (he’s off limits)
- Butt-ending someone in the ribs
- Running the goalie
- This freaking suckerpunch by Gudbranson while the ref is looking the other way:
- Getting hit by a car
- Slingshot pass
It should go without saying, but this is not up for debate.
