The Washington Capitals are no longer the masters of the universe. Consequently, you as an RMNB reader no longer deserve the delight that is two straight weeks of everyone’s favorite summer series, Not Up For Debate. Instead, and as punishment for the failure, here is one full week of Not Up For Debate. Presenting the most popular series ever on RMNB, in which we will finally understand the true nature of the 2018-19 Washington Capitals through the prism of stupid popular culture. It’s called Not Up For Debate because everyone agrees that these are the universal consensus picks.
In today’s installment, what if the 18-19 Caps were in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?
Nicklas Backstrom, Thor
Fennoscandian elite-tier human specimen. Blond.
Travis Boyd, Wong
Probably the only MCU character or Caps player who knows how to fold laundry.
Andre Burakovsky, Spider-Man
I swear I picked this before the Sony/Marvel split.
John Carlson, Drax
Does a few things real well. Other things, not so much.
Brett Connolly, Heimdall
Sir Not Appearing In The Next Film
Pheonix Copley, Bucky
Perhaps some questionable allegiances, but a great guy-behind-the-guy.
Christian Djoos, Sitwell
Losing a bunch of time to compartment syndrome is kind of like being a secret crypto-fascist, if you squint and don’t think about it too hard.
Nic Dowd, Mantis
Hard to hate, but some people will try anyway I guess, smh.
Lars Eller, Ant-Man
This bottom sixer can play big when he’s gotta.
Carl Hagelin, Captain Marvel
Late arrival who brings something the rest of the team lacks.
Braden Holtby, Black Panther
Does his own thing and rules at it.
Dmitrij Jaskin, Quicksilver
Oh by the way spoiler warning on this post.
Nick Jensen, Dr. Strange
I can see how you might think he’s redundant, but I promise he’ll play a very important role soon.
Michal Kempny, War Machine
Worried about mobility issues going forward, but hard not to love this guy.
Evgeny Kuznetsov, Star-Lord
Please make better choices.
Matt Niskanen, Hank Pym
He had his time.
Dmitry Orlov, Hulk
I love this pick. This is the best pick of the whole series. Orlov is the Hulk. Tell me I’m wrong.
Brooks Orpik, Captain America
Conditioning matters.
T.J. Oshie, Phil Coulson
It’s just a flesh wound.
Alex Ovechkin, Iron Man
Slam dunk grand slam pick, obviously.
Jonas Siegenthaler, Dr. Helen Cho
I bet you totally forgot about her.
Devante Smith-Pelly, Mantis
Wait, DSP is Mantis, too? I thought another bottom liner was Mantis. Hmm. Must be a mistake.
Chandler Stephenson, Hawkeye
“And I killed eleven of them.”
Jakub Vrana, Falcon
He’s, um, ascending in power.
Tom Wilson, Rocket Raccoon
“You can fool yourself and everyone else, but you can’t fool me. I know who you are. . . I know everything about you. I know you play like you’re the meanest and the hardest but actually you’re the most scared of all.”
Though the series is called Not Up For Debate, I’m leaving the comments open. So you can compliment me. For the very good picks. Appreciate the congrats.
