The offseason is now in full swing. The Cup has been won, the beards shaved, the players re-signed. Aside from the continuing adventures of the Stanley Cup, there’s not a whole lot happening in the hockey world. Until now! Presenting a new series in which we will finally understand the true nature of the world champion 2017-18 Washington Capitals through the prism of stupid popular culture. I’m calling it Not Up For Debate because everyone everywhere will agree that these are the universal consensus picks.
In this episode: What Friends character is each Caps player?
Nicklas Backstrom, Rachel
Excellent hair.
Jay Beagle, Monica
Competent above all.
Madison Bowey, Joey
Party boy.
Andre Burakovsky, Joey
Party boy.
John Carlson, Joey
Party boy.
Alex Chiasson, Phoebe
I dunno. Someone had to be Phoebe.
Taylor Chorney, Emily
Um.
Brett Connolly, Rachel
Scratched in an elimination game is a very Rachel thing to have happen to you.
Christian Djoos, Ross
I could also see him as a Chandler.
Lars Eller, Rachel
Also excellent hair.
Philipp Grubauer, Chandler
Could he beeeee any more clutch?
Braden Holtby, Ross
Obviously.
Jakub Jerabek, Joey
Party boy.
Michal Kempny, Joey
Party boy.
Evgeny Kuznetsov, Phoebe
Free spirit. The bird celly is a type of interpretive dance.
Matt Niskanen, Monica
High strung but capable.
Dmitry Orlov, Ross
Losing more than a year to injury is a very Ross thing to do.
Brooks Orpik, Joey
Party boy but with kale.
TJ Oshie, Joey
Party boy.
Alex Ovechkin, Joey
Most partiest boy.
Devante Smith-Pelly, Joey
Party boy.
Chandler Stephenson, No one knows
?
That’s weird.
Jakub Vrana, Joey
Party boy.
Nathan Walker, Janine Lecroix
Blimey.
Tom Wilson, Gunther
It is known.
Though the series is called Not Up For Debate, I’m leaving the comments open. So you can compliment me. For the very good picks. Appreciate the congrats.
