Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

Somehow, inexplicably, the Caps won on Thursday. It was a manic mess of a game, like something the Flaming Lips would do if they played hockey. In case your blood pressure is returning to normal and bowels are solidifying, here comes another cataclysmic hockey game to freak you out all over again.

While it’s unlikely Matt Hendricks will get another chance to paralyze another Sovereign Citizen in the skills competition, we’ve got a look to look forward to. How will Marcus Johansson follow up his two-point game? Will Alex Ovechkin tummy receive much-needed patting? How many shifts will it take before Jason Chimera does the Shawshank move at center ice?

And oh, is Nick freaking Backstrom backingstrom? All signs point to yesssss. The cosmic symmetry continues to manifest itself in hockey, as NB19’s big return might be against a team that contains the player who injured him. We’re talking about Rene Bourque, who looks like he has a little schmutz on his nose. Here, Rene, let Hendricks get that for you.

Not at Saturday’s game will be superfans Sam and Jenny. Their pal Ashley wrote to tell us how bummed they’ll be to miss the big game. Usually they’d be at Iron Horse or Rocket Bar rocking the red with a billion other people, but they goofed big time and accidentally schedule their wedding for Saturday. Whoops, guys. Best wishes from us at RMNB, and don’t screw up again.

Meanwhile…. The Canadiens, if you even care, are still a disaster. They’re waaaaay outside the playoff race, they just fired their general manager, and they can’t even spell Canadians right. How’s that for analysis?

How important is this game? Going by the current naming convention, it is Game Nine. A win keeps the team alive, a loss makes our party next Saturday at Front Page much less exciting. Buffalo and Ottawa are sitting just above the Caps  in the standings, like a bunch of bluenoses with their cocky strides and musky odors. It ain’t over yet.

Crash the net.

P.S. I’ll be at the game. 100-level because that’s how I roll. If you see me, say hi or just punch me in the face.