Ugly Christmas Sweaters Archives - Russian Machine Never BreaksRussian Machine Never Breaks

Our Ugly Holiday Sweaters this year will make you the champion of your office’s holiday party

The holiday season is officially upon us and there are some very important gatherings on the horizon. Between the office work parties and your family dinner, you’re going to need something uniquely stupid to amuse that DC sports fan in your life.

That’s why we suggest rocking one or both of these new ugly sweater designs that we’ve created. But you better get them quick – like literally right now. Our holiday sweaters will be available for a very, very limited time.

First! Let’s check out the designs.

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Look gr8 this holiday season with RMNB’s new ugly holiday sweaters

Halloween has come and gone and now with Thanksgiving approaching, the winter holiday season is upon us. Since 2015, RMNB has been bringing our own brand of holiday spirit to your wardrobe with Ugly Holiday Sweaters. This year, we’ve upped the ante and have brought you not one, but two new limited edition sweaters.

They’re dumb. We hope you love them.

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By Rachel Cohen On November 6, 2017 0 Comment

RMNB’s new ugly holiday sweater

It’s almost the “most wonderful” time of year again where panic sets in over buying presents, unruly mobs fist fight on Black Friday over discounted TVs, and Christmas music is played ad nauseam on the radio. Yup, the holiday season!

Last year, we debuted our very first ugly holiday sweater. This year, we’re back, and we think our design for 2016 is both better and even more obnoxious.

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By Rachel Cohen On November 15, 2016 0 Comment

RMNB Ugly Holiday Sweaters: Here For A LIMITED TIME ONLY!

Halloween has come and gone, which can means now we prepare for snowy days, roasting turkeys, and the arrival of ear-splitting annoying carols on forever loops in retail shops. The holiday season is here!

To properly celebrate, RMNB is proud to present its first ever Ugly Holiday Sweater!

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By Rachel Cohen On November 12, 2015 0 Comment

You’re Going to Buy This Ugly Alex Ovechkin Christmas Sweater and Love It

For decades, the ugly Christmas sweater has been a fashion faux pas, an ugly, handstiched gift from grandma that you felt obligated to wear on the one day out of the year you actually see her. The colors are often a garish red and green, featuring designs of reindeer, snowmen, holly, and a waving Santa sewn on it. It looks terrible. You look terrible.

The NHL is attempting to out-ugly nana this year by selling their own version of the ugly Christmas sweater. They are so hideous that they are kind of beautiful. You must own one. There is a design for most NHL teams. Three players are immortalized in wool: Jonathan Quick, Patrick Kane, and our own Alex Ovechkin.

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By Ian Oland On November 13, 2014 0 Comment

Caps Auction Off Ugly Christmas Sweaters (Photos)

The sweaters on sale. (All photos by Chris Gordon)

A couple weeks ago, the Washington Capitals released a magisterial Christmas video in which their players wore ridiculous outfits while pretending to provide musical accompaniment to Jingle Bells. Tonight, the team auctioned off the signed ugly sweaters worn Nicklas Backstrom, John Erskine, Mike Green, Brooks Laich, Alex Ovechkin, Aaron Volpatti, Joel Ward, and Tom Wilson in the video, with the profits benefiting Make-A-Wish Mid-Atlantic. Troy Brouwer owns the onesie he wore in the video, and according to Caps Community Relations, he refused to part with it. Instead, a signed stocking was offered instead. I imagine he’ll be wearing the onesie on Christmas day.

In the third period, it was announced by Caps PR that bidding raised $5,225 for charity. Way to go, guys.

Here are some photos of the #fashion on sale:

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By Chris Gordon On December 23, 2013 0 Comment

Caps Players Wear Ugly Christmas Sweaters, Record Music Video For Jingle Bells (Video)

Love ugly Christmas sweaters and cheesy music videos? This video will make you happy. The Washington Capitals have recorded a music video for Jingle Bells to wish you guys happy holidays. It features Caps captain Alex Ovechkin on the bells, Brooks Laich on the drums, Joel Ward on an inflatable pink saxophone, Troy Brouwer on bass, Aaron Volpatti on the guitar, Nicklas Backstrom on the tambourine, John Erskine on a pre-k piano, Tom Wilson on the ukulele, and– of course– Mike Green rocking the cowbell.

You have to see this.

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By Ian Oland On December 12, 2013 0 Comment