Ahoy. If it’s been a minute, let me be the first to tell you it’s gonna be a good season. Chris Patrick, not related to Chris Kirkpatrick as I’ve been repeatedly told, went bananas over the summer, loading up on great players like Alex Tuch and Jordan Kyrou. Alex Ovechkin re-signed for (at least) one more year. Aliaksei Protas tried and failed to eat his brother Ilya, and now they must play together. There is a lot more; I’m not going to recap it for you. There’s a whole website about it. Click literally anywhere.
This is RMNB. We cover everything, but mostly about Washington Capitals hockey. We come at it from every angle: breaking news, statistical analysis, personal profiles, and the silliest game recaps in professional sports. We’re a credentialed crew of professional sportswriters and analysts with years of experience, and we’re here to have some fun.
We’ve got Katie Adler at the rink for practices and games, talking to and unfortunately probably smelling the players. Chris Cerullo is bringing the news, startling prospect expertise, morning-after analysis, and – if you ask nice – way too much card-collecting knowledge. Ian Oland is the blogfather, all over every topic under the sun, powered by an infinite store of energy. Danielle Jacobus is driving the socials, with Leah Hollenbach helping out on media. Jenny Karamus is making waves as the new kid in town. I’m Peter Hassett, and I cover games and write the silly stuff, the hard-numbers analysis, and (too often) the un-fun pieces that have to get written.
We don’t do gambling, and we don’t let AI write for us.
We’ve recently added a bunch of player and team pages to the site. In addition to player stats and news, there is no better source on the internet for learning the zodiac sign, birthday-twin celeb, and BMI for every single hockey player. I think our new salary and goal contribution dataviz things are neat.
With the TV/streaming situation getting more complicated by the hour, we’ve updated our How to Watch guide. Bookmark that bad boy or just send the link to your grandma.
The best way to support RMNB is by subscribing to our Patreon. At $5 you get an ad-free version of the site, at $10 you join the Discord, where right now we’re all cyberbullying a statistics chatbot I built named Blaine.
Before the season gets going, please fill out the Happiness Survey and make your preseason predictions.
Down below, our comments have an automatic filter, so if you’re not seeing your comment showing up, it’s because you thought you were being clever in how you spelled the word butthole with zeroes and exclamation points. Yes, you were clever, but the robot is cleverer. As long as you stay mostly on topic, limit the salty words, and don’t call people names, go nuts.
Speaking of – that’s why we’re all here. Let’s re-introduce ourselves for the new season. Please answer:
- Who am I?
- Where am I?
- Who is my least fave NHL player?
- What’s the last book I read and loved?
- What is one off-the-wall prediction for the 2026-27 season?
Only share what you’re comfy sharing! Big brother is watching, and he’s probably a balding white man slamming back peptides every morning.
I’ll start. See you down there.
