The Utah Hockey Team will not be called the Utah Yeti. The stated reason for abandoning that option is trademark difficulties, but the deontological reason is that singular nouns are bad for sports teams (Avalanche, Wild: I’m looking at you). In any case, team owner Ryan Smith returns to the drawing board, which is a waste of a walk across the conference room, as the Correct Choice is obvious:
The Utah Dragons.
Dragons have to be the most popular mythological creature. I don’t know how to check that, but I’m sure I’m right. Dragons are great. They’re global. There are good ones and bad ones and neutral ones. You can play as one (okay, Dragonborn) in Baldur’s Gate 3. According to wikifur.com, they are one of the top-five most popular species in the furry community. “Dragon” is the best episode of Strongbad Email. Dragons are enjoying a cultural moment on House of the Dragon, known as HotD on the RMNB Discord. They’re making a “live-action” remake (boo, hiss) of How to Train Your Dragon (hooray). And yet somehow dragons are not being used by nearly enough sports teams.
You probably guessed, but I made a spreadsheet. I went through literally every team in every major North American sports league. I came up empty, so then I went through the smaller sports leagues. Got one hit.
| League | Dragons |
|---|---|
| CFL | 0 |
| MLB | 0 |
| MLS | 0 |
| NBA | 0 |
| NFL | 0 |
| NHL | 0 |
| MiLB | 1 |
It’s the Dayton Dragons, renamed and reclaimed from the Rockford Expos 25 years ago. I don’t like their logo.
Over in pro wrestling, there used to be Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat. Today there’s Dragon Lee.
In the defunct Overwatch League, there were the Shanghai Dragons, holders of the longest losing streak I’ve ever seen. In English football, which spans from the biggest teams on the planet down to a couple bruvs about to have a pint, there are four Dragons: Wivenhoe Town, Basingstoke Town, Worcester City, and Wrexham – I suppose that’s the only notable one, because of Deadpool.
Closer to home, the New York Islanders often employ a dragon mascot, Sparky, who himself first came from the New York Dragons of the shuttered Arena Football League.
Sparky paid a visit to Monte at the @GuideDogFdn Campus as he continues his formal training! 🐶🐾 pic.twitter.com/mCiME5xz2L
— New York Islanders (@NYIslanders) May 27, 2023
Dragons are much more popular among high school and college sports teams. My club swim team was sometimes called the Monsters, and we had a dragon logo for a while, and it rocked. But that’s amateur level. Dragons haven’t hit the big leagues.
Utah’s final list of possible names includes Hockey Club (tres European), Mammoth (it could work), and Outlaws – that last one replacing Utah Wasatch as an option based on fan dismay. Seeing as a groundswell of fan support led to the adding of Outlaws, that is the obvious favorite for the in-arena fan vote that will ultimately decide, but the Correct Choice remains Dragons.
I asked RMNB’s proprietary large-language model, drAIsAItl, to create a professional logo for the Utah Dragons. Here is its output.
Utah: you’re welcome.
