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Russians to the rescue: Caps beat Isles 3-2!

By Peter Hassett

 3 Comments

August 18, 2020 10:39 pm

This is not going to be a normal game recap. This game was too powerful, too weird, too Capitals-ish to be a normal game recap. The whole thing washed over me like a rogue wave of diarrhea and hundred-dollar bills. I’m stunned, I’m dazzed, I’m pinned from Narnia, I’m malding, and I’m boomed. You are too, so don’t deny it.

(The Caps beat the Islanders, by the way.)

It started with sucking, as the Capitals allowed two goals in the first period — a net-crash from Pageau and then Barzal on a break. But then the Caps of the second period arrived, a wholly different and much better hockey team. Evgeny Kuznetsov and Alex Ovechkin got two goals inside two minutes, tying the game and making me feel feelings I’ve not felt in years.

Early in the third, Alex Ovechkin gave the Caps a late lead with a gorgeous solo effort. The Caps held on like Wilson Phillips to take their first meaningful win since the pre-covidian era.

CAPS WIN! Caps trail in the series 3-1.

  • The Caps of the first period were just as bad as the Caps of Games One through Three. We shall speak no more of it.
  • Soon we’ll hear who said what during that intermission. That matters, but what’s said is secondary to what’s done, and the doer was definitely Alex Ovechkin, notching his 68th and 69th playoff goals.

  • But we must not shortchange Evgeny Kuznetsov, my wicked nephew, who has been so naughty and bad before Tuesday, and then put forth a Statement Game. Kuznetsov was practically double-shifting for a while, racking up tons of ice time and generating a lot of chances. His goal to crack Varlamov’s shutout was a solo cruise, looking effortless, looking thoroughly ungritty. It was downright pretty, much to the chagrin of all the scolds. And, oh yeah, he’s bald now.
  • Brenden Dillon had two bad penalties. Tom Wilson boarded Scott Mayfield, who miraculously recovered from his season-ending shoulder injury on the next shift. These were mistakes and should not be repeated. The Caps PK is all out of miracles.

That Joe B suit above is not the last Joe B suit of 2020. The Caps are alive. They took the adrenaline needle out of the box and shoved into their chest and pushed the plunger, and now we get at least one more game of the boys. We get at least one more game of Braden Holtby, my all-time fave, in a Caps uniform.

And more than that, we get a moment of affirmation: The Caps are not that trash-ass team that humiliated themselves for three games to their former coach. This team can still dig deep, they can still play for each other, and they can still get dangerously horny for goals. For all the noise made about scoring ugly goals, the boys painted some pretty pictures in the paint. They’re a bunch of contrarian brats, and you love them.

I can’t believe these grinning idiots just did this to us. Maybe on Thursday they can do it again. I’m all in.

Full RMNB Coverage of WSH/NYI Game Four

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