March 13, 2017 12:18 am

Forecasts of snow, March Madness brackets and another Capitals loss. I like one of those three March-themed things, but unfortunately we all received the other two as well.

First period? Nada.

Corey Perry capitalized on a Lars Eller turnover and walked both Karl Alzner and Braden Holtby to slot home the first marker of the game. Perry lit the lamp again on a tip-in and Rickard Rakell made it 3-0 quickly after. John Carlson then broke Jonathan Bernier’s shutout bid with a power play goal and we’d end 40 minutes 3-1.

A Ryan Getzlaf power play goal made it 4-1, but seconds later Marcus Johansson scored to cut it to 4-2. Ryan Kesler, 5-2.

Ducks beat Caps 5-2.

Quick whistle hurts Capitals, costs them goal. This bullet would also work in almost any recap of a Caps playoff game in the last 10 years.
Other than that chance, the Capitals had yet another slow start, getting outshot 7-1 within the first seven minutes of play. They can keep talking to the media about “fixing slow starts” like they seem to do every year, but some action would be appreciated.
Ryan Kesler, Corey Perry and Kevin Bieksa are all on the Anaheim Ducks and are all annoying. They’re like the three stooges, but instead of pies you get cheap punches thrown at the face of your players who don’t typically engage in on-ice idiocy.
Did you think you would see an HGTV reference in the recap? If you did, you’re weird, but also right. Flip or Flop’s Christina El Moussa was spotted on CSN cameras.
Nate Schmidt returned to the lineup for a suspended Kevin Shattenkirk and immediately returned to his regular, holy Corsi behavior. Not playing him every night is pure illogical nonsense.
John Carlson got his power play QB spot back also due to Shattenkirk’s suspension and was able to capitalize on the opportunity with his 7th of the season.
Shout out to Tom Wilson. Willy Baby created multiple chances by driving the puck to the net and was involved physically all night. Would love to see his recent hard work start to be rewarded on the scoresheet.
Barry Trotz has got spectacle game.
Third game in four nights in three California cities where no Washington Capitals team has ever historically done well. The doom and gloom levels are reaching a stage of ridiculousness and team #MadOnline is now way too prevalent.
However, my last five recaps have now been Capitals losses. I am the sole bringer of harm to this franchise. Blame me.
Alex Ovechkin is never going to score again.