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Other worst things in hockey

By Peter Hassett

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September 9, 2016 2:29 pm

Earlier today we learned that Trucker Jerbang Oshie thinks the Columbus Blue Jackets’ goal cannon is the Worst Thing in Hockey. In this, Oshie is correct, but he is also wrong. Because there are many other things that are also The Worst Thing in Hockey, somehow.

  • First, and obviously

  • CTE, which is almost certainly caused by concussions
  • The 1994-1995 lockout, which re-cursed the Cup champion Rangers
  • The 2004-2005 lockout, which cost us a season of Ovechkin and sent the league into TV wilderness
  • The 2012-2013 lockout, which made us believe for a moment that Adam Oates wasn’t terrible
  • The 2022-2023 lockout, which you know is coming
  • Pat Holden
  • TV/streaming blackouts
  • Too many red uniforms, I swear there’s probably a red Pens uniform coming soon
  • The refs make terrible calls
  • But somehow video review makes it even worse
  • The Edmonton Oilers’ witness relocation program for once talented prospects
  • Pierre
    pierre
  • Mike
    best-photo-of-milbury-i-could-find
  • How the NHL pretended like the Devils’ sketchy-ass contract with Kovalchuk never happened
  • Narrative writers
  • People who complain about narrative writers
  • The Wheeling Problems twitter account
  • NHL.com stats and fake twitter accounts on the trade deadline, which have equal credibility as far as I’m concerned
  • That hockey writers basically need to have a minor in criminal justice in order to do their jobs properly these days
  • Jack Johnson’s parents
  • Jack Johnson’s music, different Jack, sure, but still totally terrible
  • Enigmas
    alex-semin
  • The World Cup of Hockey

and

  • Summer

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Okay, now you go.