Photo credit: Patrick Smith

Greetings, fans! After five and a half months away, fishing, muddin’, and engagin’, the Washington Capitals returned to Verizon Center to start a new season with nervous anticipation.

The team laid out the red carpet carpet before the game, showcasing the team’s finest knit ties and undercuts. Afterwards, however, there was hockey to play. On ice. For real.

The Capitals got off to a slow start, going almost five minutes without a shot attempt early in the first period. Then Evgeny Kuznetsov hooked somebody. Uh oh. Naturally, Jason Chimera and Justin Williams immediately blew right past the Devils defense for a short-handed tick-tack-toe. Then, just two minutes and 28 seconds later, the unthinkable. Brooks Orpik, who missed all of the preseason with a wrist injury, scored. It was his first as a Capital and it came on a one-timer.

The Caps, though, like to disappear after they score. Maybe they go play with their ferrets. I don’t know. Something dumb probably. Anyway, because the Capitals played with their ferrets the Devils scored twice in under three minutes, first Adam Henrique and then Eric Gelinas. Then nothing happened for 25 minutes.

That was, until, Alex Ovechkin happened. The captain went end to end, blowing past John Moore before flipping a delicious, crisp and refreshing wrist shot top shelf on New Jersey netminder Keith Kinkaid. Marcus Johansson added another. Oh, and then Matt Niskanen got himself an empty netter. But wait, the Devils came back with one of their own. Shower of goals! Caps beat Devils 5-3!

• Brooks Orpik had zero goals last season. He has one so far this season. He is now halfway to his career high. He led the team in shot attempts too.
• Jason Chimera had 19 points last season and was bad. He is on pace for 162 this season and did a good play. It was the first time the Capitals have ever scored their first goal of the season down a man.
• The Capitals and Braden Holtby got off to a slow start. It was a pretty even game against a team that’s not as good. Still, don’t know if that’s condemnable after a six day layoff. Braden ended up saving Washington’s butts a couple times.
• Sean Collins got the nod over Stan Galiev in the AHL player for fourth-line forward showdown. Collins, though, got called for a hold in the first. It was one of those “Hey we’re going to play this obscure guy who isn’t that good at hockey penalties.” Barry Trotz, has said we may see Galiev when somebody (Collins) screws up, did not look pleased.

• At the morning skate today, TJ Oshie said an interesting thing: Evengy Kuznetsov is not only perhaps the most skilled offensive center he’s ever played with, but also one of the best defensively. Last year, Kuzy got hot towards the end of the season. But his biggest improvement last year was on defense. Oshie said Kuznetsov is talks more like any pivot is played with and guides his teammates to where they need to be. For a guy who barely spoke English last season and hadn’t played center before, that’s pretty great.
• Naturally, Kuznetsov’s line had the team’s worst possession numbers.
• The Capitals may have some news toys, but some nagging problems remain. They gave a quick response goal just 22 seconds after Orpik’s tally. That’s been an issue for years. The Caps also failed to convert on a five-on-three, with a bunch of overpassing, something you may recall seeing a bit last season.
• Tom Wilson got hit by a puck in his calf and had to go back-and-forth to the locker room a couple times. Ouch. We want pics. Hope he’s okay.
• Alex Ovechkin. Good player.
• A bunch stuff happened at the end but I was stuck waiting for the Verizon Center elevator so you can’t read about it!

Because this is the first game of the season, it’s important to draw sweeping conclusions. Jason Chimera and Brooks Orpik are offensive superstars. The Capitals are simply unstoppable. They will win every game. Go party.