Wednesday night, the Caps and Rangers played another brilliant hockey game, which came in a series full of brilliant hockey games. Every game in the series was close, so it was appropriate that game seven would be decided in overtime.

10:18 into the extra period, there was a faceoff in the Rangers zone. Hall of Fame broadcaster Mike Emrick decided that this was his moment to say something poignant– something to capture the moment– the tension of the game, the drama of the sport, and the anxiety of its nervous fans.

Instead, this is what he said.

“We hope you are enjoying this wherever you are watching around the globe. It is more tense in the households that favor Washington and New York and perhaps there is some nervous eating going on there right now. We don’t have any ratings on dogs, but if you are eating I’m sure if you have a dog, he’s there too. As we all watch this face-off that hops on now to Girardi, sent back along, Ovechkin kept it. Then lost to Girardi and back out, yet again.”

I’m just going to repeat a few parts of this so you can truly soak it in.

“Perhaps there is some nervous eating going on.”

“We don’t have any ratings on dogs, but if you are eating I’m sure if you have a dog, he’s there too.”

Play-by-play is not easy. Emrick is one of the sport’s best and deserving of his Emmys. Being articulate all the time is hard to do– I can’t even do it some of the time. Imagine being poignant too while trying to keep in check the twin tire fires of Pierre McGuire and Eddie Olyczk.

But this is gibberish. This is Doc’s Harry Carey moment.

Like was Doc hungry? Did he want a hot dog? Did Pierre give him a list of weird words he had to say or he’d get a swirly from Mike Milbury? I don’t know. I don’t even know where to begin.

All I know is that after Emrick said this, the Rangers scored shortly thereafter. So it’s probably why we lost. Ugh, why did we have to lose?

Thanks to @Hinding for tweeting this to us and thanks to John H. for the transcript.

Full RMNB Coverage of Game Seven