Ahh. The Velvet Hammer, Connie Moreau. You might think she was the Ducks’ token girl, but I’d argue she was so much more. Connie brought both elegance and elbow-checks to the Ducks. She was a voice of diplomacy to cut through District 5’s bitterness, reaching out to Gordon Bombay (“Coach,” she calls him in the image above, smiling). Connie brought love into sullen Guy Germaine’s life– and the lives of nine-year-old boys across the world. She was much more than just a compulsory female presence.

And Connie Moreau was transformative for a adolescents. She was like a family friendly Phoebe Cates, all smile-flash and quiet toughness. And not for nothing, but Marguerite Moreau’s performance as Connie was one of the best in that young cast. What follows is my love letter to Connie Moreau. No apologies.

(Okay, let’s get this out of the way first: Connie Moreau is played by Marguerite Moreau. Yes, I also worry this is like how Tony Danza always played characters named Tony because he was too dumb to pretend to be someone else. Let’s put that aside.)

Was Connie’s inclusion just another marketing strategy– like so much else in The Mighty Ducks? I don’t know. Maybe. If she was put in there just to appeal to girls and make boys swoon, does that ruin The Mighty Ducks? Did the existence of Malcolm McLaren ruin the Sex Pistols? Hell no.

And Connie was more than just the requisite young woman in the boys’ sports flick. She was a diplomat, the Jean Luc Picard of Pee Wee. Connie was the first to reach out to Gordon Bombay, the first to defend Charlie when he was picked on, and the first to knock down smart-talking Averman– who frankly needed a friendly throttling lest he become even more unbearable. And thanks to Bombay’s support and guidance, Connie had the confidence to find love with Guy and his stupid, stupid hat.

Connie: A Photo Essay Using Fuzzy Screencaps

Connie was the bang-less glue that adhered the Ducks to one another even when Bombay was somewhere else, presumably eating cake.

Twenty years ago, this was the only kissing we boys would tolerate in our movies.

Connie wisely overruled Averman’s “Spazway!” chant with the supportive-but-blander “Charlie!”

Young love is complicated like early 90s fashion was complicated. It’s like a Gadzooks exploded.

Connie has come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And she’s all outta bubble gum.

I gave her short shrift in my Then and Now post, but actor Marguerite Moreau has done very well for herself since the Ducks trilogy. I’m just gonna drop some names real quick: The Secret World of Alex Mack, Boy Meets World, Blossom, and Free Willy 2: Electric Belugaloo. And back when The O.C. was a going concern, Moreau played the comic-book executive who drove a wedge between Seth and Summer and man that show was pretty good, right?

But Maggie (Can I call her Maggie? No? Alright.) But Ms. Moreau’s finest role was in Wet Hot American Summer, in which she and Paul Rudd shared special time.

Yeah. That happened.

Ms. Moreau also starred in Queen of the Damned with the late, great Aaliyah and skeevy shirtless Stuart Townsend, who played vampirey KoRn songs while killing other vampires. (Spoiler alert: Moreau becomes a vampire at the end and looks hawt.)

She also did guest spots on Lost and Parenthood, where she mingled with the cosmically undeserving Mr. Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard. And check out this getup she wore on Mad Men:

In her spare time, Marguerite does lots of charity work, including the LifeRide project to raise money for AIDS. Well, it’s not for AIDS, but rather for the effort to cure AIDS. She can also surf!

Marguerite has had a maddeningly successful career, and except for the embarrassing lack of going on a date with me, she has built a legacy to be proud of.

But she’ll always be Connie to us!