As you recall, prior to the beginning of the season, we conducted our first Happiness Survey. In the past, we had only begun running the survey at game twenty, but we thought we should get a baseline this year. I’m glad we did; the results are interesting. We will now go over them.
This is the first Happiness Survey of the 2026-27 season. Here is how we asked the question:
On a scale from 1 to 5, how HAPPY are you to have this player on the team?
1 means VERY UNHAPPY TO HAVE THEM ON THE TEAM
2 means UNHAPPY
3 means NEITHER HAPPY NOR UNHAPPY
4 means HAPPY
5 means VERY HAPPY TO HAVE THEM ON THE TEAM
Happiness is subjective, much like your opinion of the drumming of Ringo Starr. It takes a True, Wizened Expert to have the correct opinion, but everyone is allowed to have their own, less-correct opinion as well. It is not my place to judge your judgment, except to say that it is wrong. Read to the bottom to see Ringo’s score.
The average score for each player is listed below along with their standard deviation, a measurement of disagreement (smaller numbers mean more consensus). They have been sorted into subjective tiers by me.
Tom Tier
The tier with Tom.
- Tom Wilson 4.85 ± 0.53
F.C. Tom Wilson was tops, to no one’s surprise, and this was before his very hot start to the season (2 goals and 3 assists in 5 games). The highest score we’ve ever seen in the H.S. was 4.88. Tom’s right there, nipping at Ovi’s historic heels. If we took another survey right now, I bet he’d pass it. His standard deviation, 0.53, was also the lowest in the survey, indicating consensus. Everyone loves Tom*.
*Unless you leave the DMV.
Pros Plus Tier
Your fave non-Tom Caps.
- Logan Thompson 4.81 ± 0.58
- Aliaksei Protas 4.73 ± 0.60
- Ryan Leonard 4.69 ± 0.65
- Jakob Chychrun 4.65 ± 0.65
- Ilya Protas, I. 4.62 ± 0.68
- Cole Hutson 4.57 ± 0.71
For me, it was too early to put Ilya Protas, Ryan Leonard, or Cole Hutson above a four. But on Aliaksei, Chychrun, and Thompson, those numbers are beyond reproach.
Core Blob Tier
An undifferentiated mass of adequate fellas.
- Jordan Kyrou 4.34 ± 0.75
- Pierre-Luc Dubois 4.33 ± 0.73
- Alex Tuch 4.30 ± 0.78
- Alex Ovechkin 4.25 ± 1.06
- Justin Sourdif 4.24 ± 0.75
- Martin Fehervary 4.17 ± 0.75
- Matt Roy 4.10 ± 0.81
- Dylan Strome 4.10 ± 0.77
I think there’s a gravitational pull towards the number four in this survey. I suppose since it happened prior to any actual games, there’s less distinction between the players. As such, we’ve got a bunch of guys in one zone. That’s good though; it’ll be interesting to see how they spread as the season grows.
This is the lowest score for Alex Ovechkin since midseason 2023-24, when he hit a 3.9. This survey was taken in the wake of his appearance in the United Russia ad, which I’m unafraid to say was a bad idea.
Depth Tier
You want them to earn your happiness.
- Boone Jenner 3.63 ± 0.82
- Vincent Desharnais 3.49 ± 0.79
- Ethen Frank 3.30 ± 0.86
- Charlie Lindgren 3.25 ± 1.02
- Ivan Miroshnichenko 3.18 ± 0.88
- Anthony Beauvillier 3.16 ± 0.81
Beauvillier is such an interesting case. He played 82 games last season, a lot on the top line, racking up 15 goals and 13 assists, five of them on Ovi goals, and all but one of those points during five-on-five play. He was fine, not great – but the team’s forward overhaul last summer depresses our happiness levels by implication. I get it, but also he’s been great in a depth role so far this season.
There’s lots of disagreement about goalie Charlie Lindgren, who has the highest standard deviation on the team. If he keeps playing well this week – either vs Montreal or Raleigh – I bet we’ll start to see his stock rise. I hope so. I’m a believer, and I’m rooting for him.
Looks like this is the tier where two part-timers, Miro and Frank, have fallen. We saw Frank get a jersey on Sunday; I bet we see Ivan get one sometime soon.
The Two in the Twos Tier
By default?
- Timothy Liljegren 2.92 ± 0.78
- Dylan McIlrath 2.68 ± 1.06
My guess is that people default to three when they don’t have a strong opinion about a player. That’s what I do. Three means they don’t spark joy, but to Marie Kondo’s dismay, I won’t throw them out. Falling below that line is concerning. Active players rarely do – Max Pacioretty was one in 47 blah games for the Caps in 2023-24.
I don’t know if preseason means these players are active or not. Both Liljegren and McIlrath have joined a troubled, depleted D corps, and it shows. Liljegren has been just about even, but McIlrath is in real trouble. Here’s how Chris put it this morning: “it seems like negligence to keep him on the NHL roster.”
Did we get this right? I feel like we already have changed our collective minds about a bunch of these guys. Ringo’s a 5.
