Here we go! The Stanley Cup Final, the centerpiece of the great northern tradition of frozen realms, to be contested by two cities south of the Mason-Dixon line that’ll have temperatures around 90 degrees this weekend. I could not care less about the big-market or heritage-y teams missing the final, I just want good hockey, and I think this is going to be good hockey.
Let’s do predictions.
Keith is a mystery, but also a coin. He’s a quarter, that’s for sure. Born 21 years, we are told, in the state of Pennsylvania. But where has been, what has he seen on his occluded journey to my desk in my office? And how did he develop the uncanny ability to be right about predictions about as well as two professionals like me and Ian?

Our results will appear in the table below, using the universally understood 🚽/🌮 score-keeping system.
| First Round | Peter | Ian | Keith |
|---|---|---|---|
| FLA beat BOS | 🚽 | 🌮 | 🚽 |
| TOR beat TBL | 🚽 | 🌮 | 🌮 |
| CAR beat NYI | 🌮 | 🚽 | 🚽 |
| NJD beat NYR | 🌮 | 🚽 | 🚽 |
| DAL beat MIN | 🌮 | 🚽 | 🌮 |
| SEA beat COL | 🌮 | 🚽 | 🌮 |
| VGK beat WPG | 🌮 | 🌮 | 🌮 |
| EDM beat LAK | 🌮 | 🌮 | 🚽 |
| Second Round | Peter | Ian | Keith |
| CAR beat NJD | 🚽 | 🚽 | 🌮 |
| FLA beat TOR | 🌮 | 🌮 | 🚽 |
| VGK beat EDM | 🌮 | 🚽 | 🚽 |
| DAL beat SEA | 🌮 | 🚽 | 🚽 |
| Third Round | Peter | Ian | Keith |
| FLA beat CAR | 🚽 | 🌮 | 🌮 |
| VGK beat DAL | 🌮 | 🚽 | 🌮 |
| Finals | Peter | Ian | Keith |
| TBD |
Vegas ⚔️ vs. Florida 🐱
Peter: The intellectual part of my brain says the Knights are the better team, deeper and better run. This is their second time in the final, and they’re only six years old. And yet my reptile brain is chanting “Bob go brrr.” Screw it, let’s be legends. Florida in 6.
Ian: The Florida Panthers are on a magical run. Matthew Tkachuk is the best forechecker and most clutch goal-scorer in the NHL currently and you can’t tell me differently. Then you have Sergei Bobrovsky — the epitome of a hot goalie — who has stopped nearly 20 goals over replacement in this postseason. Vegas deserves to be here, but I think they’re going to run into the buzzsaw in the Panthers. Florida in 5.
Keith: Florida in 7.
Your turn. Drop [CITY] in [NUMBER OF GAMES] and call us wrong.