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Brooks Orpik scored wtf is even happening

Okay. Y’all. Get this. Before the game, I hit up twitter to say I was feeling a Vrana goal tonight. Then, outta nowhere, some clown came at me with this.

But then, in spite of everything we know about how the universe works, it happened.

Brooks Orpik, 37-year-old defensemen for the Washington Capitals, who took 54 shots all season, has scored in the Stanley Cup Final.

Video

Lars Eller carried through neutral and into the Vegas zone. Andre Burakovsky zipped towards the net, but Eller chose another shooter: Brooks gosh darn Orpik, who had not scored since February 26, 2016. With a good screen by Brett Connolly and in blatant defiance of the rules of the universe, Orpik scoarpik’d.

This is – well, this is Orpik’s first goal of the playoffs, obviously.

God bless.

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