Hi, my name is Ian Oland. I’m driving this here Capitals bandwagon. Over the last month, we’ve traveled all over the continent, picking up many new friends. In fact, there are so many strangers here, we’ve had to put on name-tags and start force-feeding IVs to our exhausted oxen via beer guzzlers. But we must carry on.
Our first new member is someone we’ve known a while. Over the last five decades, he’s walked near the bandwagon and sometimes he’s even come up and whimsically touched the side. But this year he finally jumped on.
His name? Jim Vance.
Vance is a Washington DC institution. He’s been the co-anchor of WRC-TV’s News4 since 1972. Frequently, our dear Vance will ramble on and on about the Redskins or Wizards after the sports are done. But this past Saturday, Vance went to his very first hockey game ever. Vance has worked for WRC-TV for 47 years.
— Danny Favret (@Danny_Favret) April 28, 2016
— Doreen Gentzler (@DoreenGentzler) May 1, 2016
Welcome, Vance. What an honor.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention what else Vance is famous for: the below video where he and late sports anchor George Michael laughed at a model who fell twice on a runway.
Next, we must welcome new Washington Wizards head coach Scott Brooks onto the wagon. Brooks, hired basically to be the metaphorical juicy worm to hook Kevin Durant, has a career .620 winning percentage in seven seasons with the Oklahoma City Thunder. Rod Langway and Rod Langway’s cab hat presented Brooks a #16 Caps jersey Thursday night.
— DJ Saam (@DJ_SAAM) April 29, 2016
Next, we must travel to Alexandria, Virginia, to pick up another beautiful soul: USWNT’s Ali Krieger. Krieger is the captain of our hometown Washington Spirit. She also was part of the defense that held opponents scoreless for a record 540 minutes and helped lead the United States to become 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup champions.
— Ali Krieger (@alikrieger) April 29, 2016
Finally, we’d like to give a shout-out to our fire fighters with Rescue Squad 1. They’ve been on this here wagon from the very beginning, but last week they got a bunch of media attention due to this tweet.
— JB (@Infamous_2056) April 26, 2016
Way to go, guys.
But Tony X, c’mon dude.
i gotta go with the penguins
— Tony X. (@soIoucity) April 29, 2016
We’ll keep a seat warm for you anyway.
Conn Smythe winner Tony X pic.twitter.com/X0CSACveMU
— Greg Wyshynski (@wyshynski) May 4, 2016
In summary, Vance, Brooks, Krieger, and the DC Firemen join the 9:30 Club, the Los Angeles Kings franchise, Wil Wheaton, NASCAR Driver Ryan Ellis, my gr8 egg, Detective Stabler, the Washington Nationals, The Karate Kid, Mike Milbury, Keith Jones, Keith Olbermann, Alan Thicke, Teddy Sears, Taylor Kitsch, Scott Stevens, Mike Rupp, Neil Smith, Mike Johnson, Dave Reid, Elliotte Friedman, Nick Kypreos, Doug MacLean, Mike Modano, Roddy White, Alex Trebek, Larry King, All Hockey Oddsmakers, EA Sports’ NHL 16, and this number eight branded Utz potato chip my mother gave me on this here wagon.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.