Wednesday night, we saw our best impression of the 2009 Capitals since Monday: don’t try for 40 minutes, score goals, and see what happens. With Adam Oates in the house, the Caps decided to suck some more, getting outside 9-2 at the midway point of the first period. It got worse. Mikko Koivu scored a power play marker with just 42 seconds left in the feckless frame. In the end, the Wild outshot the Caps 12-3. Shot attempts were 23-8 in Minnesota’s favor.
In the second, BROOKS ORPIK SCORED BECAUSE HE IS INFALLIBLE EVERYDAY.
Later in the period, Nino Niederreiter took a machete to the Caps defense like it was a Top Gear special. Things looked bleak.
Sometime in the third, the Caps decided to try to win, which is something that can be pretty good at. Alex Ovechkin promptly tied the game with his fortieth goal of the season on the you know what from the you know where. He’s the Marco Rubio of goals.
Dmitry Orlov made some Euro softie moves and scored a goal that went in somehow, as if placed in the net by Oates’s divine hand. Caps beat Wild 3-2.
Pictured: Mt. Everest pic.twitter.com/VTRR7MLLDF
— RMNB (@russianmachine) February 27, 2016
"Hey, sorry for ruining the team for a little bit there." https://t.co/yxxpfYuTmg
— Mackin (@Sean_Mackin) February 27, 2016
Alex Ovechkin's 40th goal of the season ties the game 2-2. pic.twitter.com/asz7kdhA2W
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) February 27, 2016
The Caps sucked. It was a boring game — until it wasn’t.
(I originally had an image of a black hole here. It’s now Joe B.)
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