This kid is all of us.

After a long layoff, the Caps returned to action for a win over the Vancouver Canucks that was never really in doubt. The new young guns of Washington made sure of that.

The first period was quiet, but Evgeny Kuznetsov and Dmitry Orlov combined to score after a power play expired in the second. Known goal-scorer Karl Alzner dug the two-goal hole with a knuckler that beat a distracted but still lusciously haired Ryan Miller.

Tom Wilson scored in the third, thanks to terrific work along the boards by Burakovsky and Kuznetsov. Holtby lost the shutout to a Vrbata goal halfway through the third, but Evgeny Kuznetsov got the last laugh with a last second goal.

Caps beat Canucks 4-1!

• All those retired stars congratulating Alex Ovechkin on his 500th goal were a bit stiff. I was more moved by the cheering fans and the adoring Ovechkin family. That gold stick just reminded me of Mike Knuble, who I think got like 7 minutes in the game when he got his silver stick. Enough about the olds. This game was about the kids.
• Nate Schmidt and Dmitry Orlov wrecked house as second pairing, spending more than two-thirds of their time on attack. They give me a lot of confidence in the future of this franchise.
• So do Evgeny Kuznetsov and Andre Burakovsky, who are so good they can make even Tom Wilson score. Burra’s work along the boards was great, but Kuznetsov’s pass to Wilson was otherworldly. Kuznetsov might be an alien. Or a wizard.
• One quiet swede, Marcus Johansson, returned from suspension to play a subdued game, while another, Andre Burakovsky, made a whole lot of noise with some big hits and tough play. Burra was furious, which reminds me…
• Tom. Green.
• imho, Matt Niskanen totally deserved a penalty for his takedown of Sven Baertschi right before Karl Alzner scored his 15th career goal. Ryan Miller was right to complain, but I was also right to laugh at him for doing so.
• This was a fast game, and Zach Sill couldn’t keep up. I can’t be the only one seeing this, right? Please tell me you see this too.
• Ian swore Justin Williams broke his jaw after that first-period accident wherein Andre Burakovsky’s shot hit William’s face instead of the net. Williams was certainly shaken up, but dude was out there for the start of the second period. Hockey.
• My grandfather Maury Hassett passed away today. He served in England in World War II then came back to the east coast and raised a big Irish Catholic family. He watched football with the sound off and the radio on. He was a newsman; he kept newspaper clippings of the days all his grandkids were born. He was preceded in death by his sons Steve, Chris, and Kevin, and his wife Mary. He was a character, and he’ll be missed.

Okay let’s do the suit.

Joe B suit of the — shoot, wait

Joe B suit of– nope, that ain’t it either

There you are, you handsome devils

Another great game. I don’t know how to deal with this. I’m not used to being this happy with my hockey team. I’m gonna turn on the GOP debate. That’ll fix the happiness thing real quick.

The Capitals are constitutionally unable to lose, just as the founding fathers intended. They’re a strict constructionist hockey team.

Full RMNB Coverage of Caps vs Canucks