Beat that beat up. (Photos by Chris Gordon)
On Saturday night, the Capitals held their fifth annual Casino Night at the Pentagon City Sheraton. Players and coaches made their best attempt at dressing up and participated in table games with fans. There was also a live auction for things like a Segway tour with players that raised a hell of a lot of money and a silent auction for memorabilia. No word yet on how much money was raised, but all of it will go to the team’s Monumental Sports & Entertainment Foundation. Now let’s look at goofy pictures of tipsy players, featuring captions by Peter Hassett.
Jay Beagle edges out Karl Alzner in the fifth annual smile-off.
…And then someone put “Don’t Stop Believing” on the stereo at the craps table.
Seven come eleven, seven come eleven, seven come derp.
Backstrom holds his beloved invisible IKEA chair GNOSEEIT.
About to drop the hottest mixtape of 2015.
Hundred bucks says dude at right didn’t understand a word Kuzy and Dima said.
Sheena with a brobean and a recovering former brobean!
The props guy needs to be fired. And then re-hired. And then promoted. To President.
[Peter’s joke for this was hilarious, but not for publication. So we present you Braden Holtby’s stick.]
The 2013/14 plaque was noticeably smaller.
There is literally nothing to joke about in this photo.
Have you noticed that only the Swedes know to button their jackets when standing? No? Just me?
The first-ever upper torso and lower leg amputation on an invisible man was a success?
Yellow laces. Could catch on.
Mother of god. The greatest photo ever taken.
Mother of god. First runner-up in the best photo ever taken contest.
MRW Chimera scores twice in one game.
“And then Hassett said his 5-year-old nephew could of scored those goals, wtf”
“Psst. Hey. I’m prettier than Tom Wilson right now. Pass it on.”
“Excuse me, sir, your Suzuki Sidekick has been towed.”
Just want to point out Ovi’s wearing a bead bracelet to a formal event. That is all.
Not the most flattering angle for the troika, but at least they’re happy.
The after-prom party is gonna be off the chain, bro. Two words: Peach. Schnapps.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.