Every season around this time we get the same question: What will you do if Troy Brouwer is traded? The standard – and true – answer is that we won’t talk about it until it happens. Why would we?
But when your whole shtick relies on bad puns (Ed. note: “bad pun” is redundant) about someone’s last name, new ones occasionally just pop into your head and get trapped up like in a bottle. It’s like when you suddenly realize you’ve been singing “Up. town. Funk you up. Uptown funk you up.” You’re not really sure how it got back into your head but it’s there and there’s nothing you can do about it.
That’s what happened to me on Friday. There I was – minding my own business, trying to get some work done – and all of a sudden I couldn’t not think about how funny it would be for someone to start a super-fan group for Caps goalie coach Mitch Korn called the Korn Dawgs. Corndog costumes would probably look super duper inappropriate, so I preferred to imagine it as human hot dogs.
Now, this certainly isn’t the first pun anyone has made off Korn’s last name. In fact, we brainstormed a few when he was announced as the Caps new goalie coach last summer. Nor is this likely the first time anyone has made this particular pun before. But it’s the first time I’d heard it, so naturally I tweeted about it.
Has @mitchkorncaps ever had fans dress up as human-sized hot dogs and call themselves the ‘Korn Dawgs’ because if not that should happen.
— Brouwer Rangers (@brouwerrangers) February 27, 2015
What I didn’t really expect was for Korn to respond. But he’s an awesome dude who’s really good at Twitter, so he did. And he had a fair enough request.
@brouwerrangers Only Hebrew National please. No mustard.
— Mitch Korn (@mitchkorncaps) February 27, 2015
Korn, as you may know, is Jewish.
While his request is reasonable, it disheartened Friend of RMNB Jenn, who had pledged to join the Korn Dawgs as a mustard accompaniment.
@mitchkorncaps @brouwerrangers nooooooo =( my mustard plan is ruined. https://t.co/XF7uAxQO6E
— jenn rubenstein (@jennrubenstein) February 27, 2015
Korn, ever the gentleman, responded with some encouragement.
@jennrubenstein @brouwerrangers I may like this brand of mustard.
— Mitch Korn (@mitchkorncaps) February 27, 2015
Korn closed out the exchange by posting an RMNB ‘shop of him wearing a corn costume. Perhaps he’s suggesting he’d prefer the “Children of the Korn” theme over “Korn Dawgs” for his super-fan group. Duly noted.
@jennrubenstein @brouwerrangers pic.twitter.com/mz3xIxyz5t
— Mitch Korn (@mitchkorncaps) February 27, 2015
So there you have. Mitch Korn loves puns about his last name, and is the best. And I made it through this whole post without making the obvious “it was corny” joke, so I’m pretty proud of myself.
