For the National Hockey League, November means no shaving. And for most hair-fertile Capitals (sorry, Michael Latta) that meant looking greasy and weird for at least twenty days to raise money for men’s health. The player who maybe had both the best and worst looking mustache was hands down Alex Ovechkin.

The well-marketed Ovi, who had a clause written into his Gilette contract to allow participation in the charity movement two years ago, went from handsome superstar to Charles Manson look-a-like in November. And somewhere in the middle, he looked like a derp-y hipster, which I’m sure his boy Michael Phelps would be proud of.

Join us as we watch the furry Russian caterpillar burst into full bloom. Warning: by the end, you might feel compelled to hand over your license and registration to Alex Ovechkin.

November 2nd – It Begins

Humble beginnings. A fresh shave in the recent past. No omens of the horror to come.

November 3rd

We’ve officially entered scratchy upper lip territory, and it’s only day three.

November 4th

Stache status: first kid to hit puberty in middle school.

November 5th

Ovi is now keeping his sides groomed but letting the stache run wild. (Photo: Caps Instagram)

November 7th

The point where your HR manager takes you aside and tells you to “dress for the job you want.”

November 10th

We have left the point where it’s not clear if he’s forgotten to shave or not. It’s now deliberate, sadly.

November 11th

The lighting of this shot is being too generous to Ovi’s scraggly little lip rug.

November 14th

Boom. Two weeks in and Ovi’s mustache looks respectable. I’d totally buy a used car from this guy.

November 15th

Langway is like “Not. Bad.” (Photo: Billy Hurst)

November 16th

In comparison to the other Ruskies, Ovi looks terrific, but that’s not saying much.

November 18th

Kind of an Inigo Montoya vibe here. (Photo: Christian Petersen)

November 19th

Ovi strategically spent time with less hirsute Russians all month. (Photo: @a0gr8)

November 20th

The hood-up look is a force multiplier for mustache weirdness.

November 22nd

Close to crossing over the lip line. Time for the trimmers? (Photo: Rob Carr)

November 24th

The mustache is looking INTO your soul. (Photo: @washcaps)

November 26th

Tavares’ mustache is good, but Ovi’s is GR8. (Photo: Mike Stobe)

More Burt Reynolds than Kurt Russell.

November 28th

Now, I’m just jealous. (Photo: Patrick McDermott)

It feels like we’re building up to something…

November 29th

AHHHH!  ACKCKKKKK!!  YIKESSSSS! (GIF by @myregularface)