For the National Hockey League, November means no shaving. And for most hair-fertile Capitals (sorry, Michael Latta) that meant looking greasy and weird for at least twenty days to raise money for men’s health. The player who maybe had both the best and worst looking mustache was hands down Alex Ovechkin.
The well-marketed Ovi, who had a clause written into his Gilette contract to allow participation in the charity movement two years ago, went from handsome superstar to Charles Manson look-a-like in November. And somewhere in the middle, he looked like a derp-y hipster, which I’m sure his boy Michael Phelps would be proud of.
Join us as we watch the furry Russian caterpillar burst into full bloom. Warning: by the end, you might feel compelled to hand over your license and registration to Alex Ovechkin.
Humble beginnings. A fresh shave in the recent past. No omens of the horror to come.
We’ve officially entered scratchy upper lip territory, and it’s only day three.
Stache status: first kid to hit puberty in middle school.
Ovi is now keeping his sides groomed but letting the stache run wild. (Photo: Caps Instagram)
The point where your HR manager takes you aside and tells you to “dress for the job you want.”
We have left the point where it’s not clear if he’s forgotten to shave or not. It’s now deliberate, sadly.
The lighting of this shot is being too generous to Ovi’s scraggly little lip rug.
Boom. Two weeks in and Ovi’s mustache looks respectable. I’d totally buy a used car from this guy.
Langway is like “Not. Bad.” (Photo: Billy Hurst)
In comparison to the other Ruskies, Ovi looks terrific, but that’s not saying much.
Kind of an Inigo Montoya vibe here. (Photo: Christian Petersen)
Ovi strategically spent time with less hirsute Russians all month. (Photo: @a0gr8)
The hood-up look is a force multiplier for mustache weirdness.
Close to crossing over the lip line. Time for the trimmers? (Photo: Rob Carr)
The mustache is looking INTO your soul. (Photo: @washcaps)
Tavares’ mustache is good, but Ovi’s is GR8. (Photo: Mike Stobe)
More Burt Reynolds than Kurt Russell.
Now, I’m just jealous. (Photo: Patrick McDermott)
It feels like we’re building up to something…
AHHHH! ACKCKKKKK!! YIKESSSSS! (GIF by @myregularface)
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