The Capitals lost to the Sharks and we are sad.
But here is Alex Ovechkin’s dad fighting his iPhone and we are happy.
Oh, Mr. Ovechkin. You are so adorably gruff, wrestling with your newfangled technology between smoke breaks.
GIF by Ian Oland
But hey, if you’re shooting video, you are doing it wrong.
All wrong, sir.
You gotta turn that bad boy sideways. Landscape mode. Get some wide-angle, John Ford-esque video of your son losing to San Jose.
It’s the difference between this:
Photo: Rob Carr
See the scope? The composition? The stuff to the right and left? So much better.
And hold the thing with two hands. Not too tight. Right up by the camera lens. Way less shaky now, no? Less The Bourne Ultimatum and more Spike Lee. Now isn’t that gonna look so much better on your tumblr?
Well, unless you’re shooting square aspect-ratio stuff for Snapchat or Vine or Instagram or something crazy I don’t even know about yet. In that case, my bad. I’m sorry. Carry on. Good job raising that world-class athlete. He’s great. We’re big fans. Anyway, have a good one.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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