Apparently everything is happening today (or at least this is the first I’ve seen it). Washington Capitals forward Brooks Laich has been named to Vanity Fair’s not-at-all-trashy 10 Best Players Players in the NHL list.
Brooksy, please come up to the podium and say a few words.
— Brooks Laich (@brookslaich) October 18, 2013
Laich plays the coy card. Of course. He has no idea that he’s handsome. That’s why Shy Magazine put him on the cover.
Laich becomes the second Capitals player this calendar year to be honored for their good-lookingness. Before the lockout-shortened 2013 season began, Mike Green was named by Cosmopolitan Magazine as the sexiest player in all of hockey.
Vanity Fair, using some kind of unscientific formula which involves photos and darts, determined that Laich is the fifth most stylish player in the league.
Raised in a tiny town in Saskatchewan, Canada, Brooks Laich can be seen in well-tailored power suits, the men’s-wear standard in Washington, D.C., where he’s a center for the Capitals.
I have no idea what that actually means. Ahead of Laich on the list, was Henrik Lundqvist (total stud muffin), Vincent Lecavalier (his weird oblong head ruins anything he actually wears, right?), Ryan Kesler (leg), and Matt Duchene (someone’s going to have to explain that one to me).
You can see the rest of the list here, which inexplicably leaves off Green, The Holtbeast, and Tom Wilson. What do you think of it?
One last thing: notice how I didn’t make any laaaaadies jokes? Lots of RMNB’s smartest readers and hockey’s best fans are women, who have just as high hockey IQs as guys. Part of me loathes these lists because they seem to define women’s interest in hockey as something limited to handsome guys, and they give fuel to crummy dudebros who want to pigeonhole women for liking hockey only for the hunks. That’s stupid. Rant over.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.