Photo credit: capitals.nhl.com

The Washington Capitals have been inspiring a lot lately: swearing, alcoholism, serious consideration of jumping off the 400 level rather than watching another moment of hockey. So inspirational are they in this way that you may not have noticed what good role models they really are for children, and how nice they might look with encouraging slogans across their chest.

The Capitals franchise has always made efforts to connect with younger generations in the local community, often visiting schools and running hockey clinics for kids. We’ve unearthed what seems to be a continuing effort towards this, a series of “Caps@School” postcards where their stars promote wholesome, inspiring messages. (Note: may also double as Valentines in a pinch.)

There doesn’t seem to be a card for if you’re wondering why you spent $75 dollars for terrible seats to see the Caps lose, but if you have questions about the power of your dreams, the Caps have answers.

The second secret of success being “try to avoid blocking hockey pucks with your face.”

This is what they tell all the kids who get drafted in the 6th round!

Also contagious: being uncomfortable.

If possible, at least 50 of them per season, otherwise people get mad.

Mysteriously missing: Alex Semin. We would have loved to get his opinion on whether or not there is in fact a substitute for hard work. Also, why is Ovechkin the only one not wearing a suit? Is it because he’s a maverick?

(s/t to sashastolemyheart for discovering these cards.)