Ranking every Capitals player’s face in NHL 27, from eerily accurate to completely unrecognizable

EA Sports’ latest entry in its NHL video game franchise, NHL 27, has been under intense fire on social media for what some say is its lack of improvement over previous versions.

There’s a lot to unpack there, but for the purposes of this article, I’d like to focus on what Oilers YouTuber Austin Hockey calls “the worst face scans of any NHL game I’ve ever seen.”

While EA Sports nailed plenty of its player models, others appear to have been created from a vague description of the person given over the phone. So, naturally, I did the important journalism and went through the entire Capitals roster to determine which players actually look like themselves — and which ones we’d struggle to identify in a police lineup.

Please note: That’s not just you; every player is ever so slightly cross-eyed, which is not a good disclaimer to begin with.

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RMNB RANKINGS

It’s a no from me, dawg

Charlie Lindgren

There is no love in this un-agape representation of Charles Lindgren. Like, seriously, how do you mess up the guy nicknamed The Outlaw with so much aura and an elite handlebar mustache? I have absolutely no confidence this guy can perform a good cover of “Talladega.” Welcome to my favorite team’s crease, generic white character model number one.

Cole Hutson

EA gave Cole Hutson the face of a generated prospect you draft in Year 9 of Franchise Mode.

Rasmus Sandin

This is more computer scientist that hasn’t showered in the last 48 hours than professional hockey player. Digi Sandy has huge hair and has an even huger forehead, which I can only assume happened at Acme Labs during an experiment gone wrong. He’s also apparently a redhead now. Narf!

Anthony Beauvillier

Frodo Baggins is that you? He looks like he just opened his locker and found a note that says “Meet me behind the gym.”

Aliaksei Protas

Big Pro is a very serious human. He’s straight-faced and naturally intimidating due to his size, like Sully from Monsters, Inc. Yet here, he’s depicted with a small head, exuding the same vibes as the Jolly Green Giant. You might say: Ian, this isn’t that bad. And you’re right. But I included him in the worst section for a reason…

Ilya Protas

…It’s a PACKAGE DEAL. My poor Little Pro. All they had to do was hit control + C / control + V and give Ilya Digi Aliaksei’s bubbly personality and make his face slightly more oblong. Instead, we get this generic face — even though, again, he literally has a brother IN THE GAME and is one of the top prospects in hockey. Even worse, they list Ilya as a left wing when we all know he’s a center. Don’t get me started!

Matt Roy

Meet the supporting actor in a Hallmark Christmas movie who owns the town’s only coffee shop, coaches youth hockey on weekends, and is desperately trying to save the annual Christmas festival from an evil real-estate developer. (This is also our very own Chris Cerullo if he didn’t blog with us and had a fancy 40-hour-a-week job at a defense firm in downtown DC.)

Justin Sourdif

EA somehow turned our dear Sourds into a Regency-romance heartthrob with a slightly shrunken head, zero confidence, and eyes that appear to be running separate systems.

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Who is this person bc it’s not a Capital

Jakob Chychrun

Chychrun’s blonde hair is, like, way too blonde, and he more resembles that male model you’d stumble upon in a Sears catalog rocking a cashmere crewneck or Thunder from American Gladiators or Prince Charming from Shrek or Rasmus Sandin if he was a chad.

Ethen Frank

Nope, that’s not my favorite speed demon, Ethen Frank.

Logan Thompson

All the features are generally in the right ballpark, yet they add up to look nothing like Logan Thompson: hockey goaltender. I don’t know how that’s possible. If you ask me, that’s just more disrespect for the guy who should have won the Vezina last year.

Pierre-Luc Dubois

In real life, the Caps’ French-Canadian pivot has a reserved mustache. In NHL 27, he’s Seen Things and looks like he’s addicted to follicle enhancement cream, breaking out everywhere. Well, at least we now know what PLD will look like if he grows a playoff beard and the Capitals make it all the way to the Stanley Cup Final.

Vincent Desharnais

The Capitals signed this behemoth defenseman to be a scary, physical presence, yet in NHL 27 he looks more ready to extend you a forgiving hug than a hip check. He has the face of a man who says “no worries at all” after you rear-end him on the highway. He’s neither bald nor menacing. This is a fail.

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I can see it, but there’s something really off

Alex Ovechkin

Babes, the face feels right, but the hair is entirely too big. Way TOO big. Put the gel down, Digi Ovi.

There’s also just something about the cold, distant stare he has, devoid of all personality, which is the complete opposite of the man I’ve covered for nearly the last two decades.

Tom Wilson

He’s angry and yappy in his character’s bio area — look at those brows — so that’s realistic. But his face is too smushed — in real life this man has a jawline of a Roman god — and his hair should have Digi Ovi’s height. But that is definitely Tom Wilson.

Dylan Strome

I don’t recall Dylan having a beard. His hair is close, but not right. Digi Stromer has so many moles on the side of his face I worry he needs to see a dermatologist immediately because his life is in peril. But they nailed how sleepy he always looks.

From far away and with a bucket on, I see you, Dylan.

Jordan Kyrou

The face, I see it. But the hair, it’s too much. It takes us back to Abbey Road, 1969. Meet the fifth Beatle: Jordan Kyrou. He plays air guitar with his hockey stick.

Martin Fehervary

Sullen and a little sad, this edition of Marty Party has a full beard — something I don’t recall him ever having. This character feels more Jesse Eisenberg, with a side of Slovak, than our dearest Martin Fehervary.

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Perfection… well almost

Alex Tuch

The hair volume might be a little overly kind, and the color is more brown than black, but I see the resemblance!

Boone Jenner

This looks exactly like Boone Jenner, which is great for Boone Jenner and terrible for the purposes of this article.

Ivan Miroshnichenko

No notes. They nailed Miro’s resting scowl face.

Ryan Leonard

Digi Leno is a little glum and lacks Human Ryan’s limitless confidence, but the appearance is nailed all the way down to the broken nose that curves slightly to make a C. Why is every player not like this?

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It’s worth noting, Tom Wilson shared a screencap of a social media analysis by @icetimewithabby, tagging Logan Thompson and responding “I will say… they nailed this one.”

In my head, I’m trying to tell myself the mostly-botching of the players was intentional and EA was just trying to have some fun. They thought going so unhinged with the likenesses would get people talking, because, let’s be honest, when video games are already so life like already, there’s only so much improvement you can make on the year-to-year product. The players’ faces are definitely going viral, and there’s been an intense amount of discussion about the game in general. And you know the saying, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

If you want to see for yourself, NHL 27 is being publicly released on September 11. You can also begin playing it now if you purchase the deluxe version online.

And now, here’s some more bonus information for our readers heading into release day.

NHL 27 Capitals ratings

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Former Capitals

John Carlson

Nic Dowd

Brandon Duhaime

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Which player scan is your favorite? Let us know in the comments below.