I’m just gonna say it: it’s been a terrible postseason. Not because the Caps didn’t show up, although yeah, that stunk too. The quality of the hockey has just been poor. There have been a lot of overtimes – about 20 – and that’s nice. But not enough game sevens; which came from one team, Montreal, who in hindsight were lucking their way through those series. Too many sweeps and five-game series.
And the teams who will meet in the final, Carolina and Vegas, are the league’s most anti-fun organizations. If you’re not psyched for the Stanley Cup Final, I get it. But I know one quarter who is very excited. Have you met Keith, a Coin?
Meet Keith, a Coin
If this quarter correctly predicts the final, he will have gone 50/50 on his predictions for the 2026 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Almost as if the playoffs are a coin toss. Astounding. This bit, which is two bits, always works.
The results so far
Using the universally understood 
/
score-keeping system.
| First Round | Peter | Ian | Keith |
|---|---|---|---|
| COL vs LAK | |
🚽 | 🚽 |
| DAL vs MIN | |
|
|
| VGK vs UTA | 🚽 | 🚽 | 🚽 |
| EDM vs ANA | 🚽 | 🚽 | 🚽 |
| BUF vs BOS | 🚽 | |
|
| TBL vs MTL | 🚽 | |
|
| CAR vs OTT | |
🚽 | 🚽 |
| PIT vs PHI | 🚽 | 🚽 | |
| Second Round | Peter | Ian | Keith |
| COL vs MIN | |
🚽 | 🚽 |
| VGK vs ANA | |
|
🚽 |
| CAR vs PHI | |
|
|
| MTL vs BUF | 🚽 | |
🚽 |
| Third Round | Peter | Ian | Keith |
| COL vs VGK | 🚽 | 🚽 | |
| CAR vs MTL | |
🚽 | 🚽 |
| Finals | Peter | Ian | Keith |
| COL vs CAR |
Carolina 🌀 vs Knights ♞
Peter: Thanks. I hate it. There are more players that I love on the Knights (Dowd, Stone) than on the Canes (no one). Vegas also has some personnel I loathe, but I’ll leave that for the Patreon newsletter. In the regular season and in the loffs, Carolina has been a much better team. Adding elite goaltending to their oppressive systems play made their path to the final clear. I think they’ll go all the way, but I don’t like it. Carolina in 6.
Ian: Yeah, no, like, this series is ew to me. Before I even get to my prediction, I’m still so disappointed in how bad hockey culture is. This shouldn’t be a political thing – yet for some reason it is. Some players should not receive second chances or the privilege of playing in the league again. And for a decent chunk of fans, that is gonna hang over this whole series. This sport should be welcoming to everyone, beyond, in my opinion, white dudes of a certain age, and I’ll never understand why no one in power takes this social responsibility seriously. I should not have to consider my morality when making a championship pick. Like if baseball can keep Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and Rafael Palmeiro out of the Hall of Fame because of their association with performance-enhancing drugs, why can’t hockey do more about something 10 million times more serious, and something that legitimately hurts its credibility with a part of the fandom it could grow? I just don’t get it – from any perspective. #FreeTheStanleyCupFinal
In terms of the actual hockey, I don’t like either team, so this is a meteor situation, the likes of Pens-Flyers. Please don’t judge me for this. If I had to pick a team, which this hockey blogging series mandates, I think Vegas has a 2018 Washington Capitals situation going on here. Torts, like Barry Trotz late in the 2017-18 season, changed the system to this heavy style, and the guys have really bought into it. Mitch Marner, Jack Eichel, they are even better versions of themselves. This whole team is so tenacious along the boards – I think they have way more offensive talent than the Hurricanes do, too – I just don’t see Vegas losing unless something wacky happens. Am I rooting against a certain Vegas goaltender? Yes. Do I hope Vegas loses? Yes. At least, if I focus really, really hard on Nic Dowd and Nic Dowd’s own personal happiness, I can maybe survive this result. I think we can all agree, he deserves it. Vegas in 5.
Keith: Vegas in 6.
Your Turn
Do it like (TEAM CITY) in (# of GAMES)
