Happy Thanksgiving, the most beautiful and American of holidays, which is also to say it is the holiday with the most sad and bloody irony at its heart. Still, in the spirit of goodwill and gratitude that animated the very first Thanksgiving, let us now give thanks for all the hockey things that are good in the hockey world.
I am thankful for:
John Carlson and Brooks Orpik, for playing 4-5 minutes more than they did last year because they have to. They are dudes of iron, and they deserve an extra helping of stuffing today.
Corsica, Natural Stat Trick, hockeyviz, and HockeyStats.Ca, for being the raddest of hockey statistic sites – always improving, and always sharing with an open hand.
NHL.com stats, via SAP, for reminding us all that there’s always room for improvement because look how much better that site could be. It’s not even secure.
Alex Ovechkin, for 572 goals and counting. He’s almost a decade past his supposed scoring peak, but even as a greybeard Ovi is still a wizard.
Plus/minus, for finally, after three Stanley Cups, four scoring titles, seven MVPs, and two Olympic golds, finally revealing that Sidney Crosby sucks with his minus-13. Trade the bum. (To the Caps.)
Jim Turkiewicz, who played defense for the Toronto Toros and Birmingham Bulls in the late 70s, where he scored 25 goals and 119 assists in 392 games, for having a name that sounds like “turkey.”
Nate Schmidt, for bringing his special kind of sunshine to the desert.
Tom Wilson, for giving us something to argue about, whether he’s playing well, playing poorly, or just making smoldering faces pretending that he doesn’t know he’s being photographed but he obviously does because no one makes that face unless they know they’re being photographed.
Photo: Cara Bahniuk
RMNB patrons, for making it possible to grow this website in the least scuzzy way we can. You’ve made it possible for us to put together a special team of talented and passionate people, and you’ve also taught me a deeper appreciation for the eggplant emoji, which in England is the aubergine emoji.
My mom, for answering the phone by saying “happy hockey” after every Caps win, regardless of what the score- and venue-adjusted shot-attempt differential was during even strength play.
Whoever edited all the NHL headshots for ESPN, for lining up the eyes in a creepy way.
Caps head coach Barry Trotz and Washington Post reporter Isabelle Khurshudyan, for saying increasingly bizarre and charming quotes and sharing them with the world, respectively.
Trotz on Ovechkin/Backstrom reunion: "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be."
I'm done, y'all.
— Isabelle Khurshudyan (@ikhurshudyan) November 23, 2017
Asked Trotz why the hesitation to reunite Ovechkin and Backstrom. Said there isn't any. So, why hasn't he done it?
"Just don't feel like it."
— Isabelle Khurshudyan (@ikhurshudyan) November 21, 2017
Me: "Is Christian Djoos in the concussion protocol."
Trotz: "I don't want to answer that."
Said he's "day to day."
— Isabelle Khurshudyan (@ikhurshudyan) November 18, 2017
Game-watching buddies, wherever they are right now. Hockey’s a silly sport to enjoy alone, so – whether it’s with your internet friends, the folks sitting with you in the upper bowl, or some snoring lump of dough on the couch next to you, they make this obscene waste of time and money worth it. 💗
Please share your hockey thanks below, and, oh yeah, thank YOU for reading RMNB.
Headline photo: Fedor Talpa
