The Washington Capitals defeated the Philadelphia Flyers on Thursday night, and if they hadn’t I’d have been steamed. There should be no such thing as a trap game in March.
The first goal of the game was Alex Ovechkin’s and also the 888th of his career. In the second period, Matt Roy hit up Brandon Duhaime from below the goal line, and then Andrew Mangiapane scored on a counterattack rush to make it 3-0 after two periods.
Ryan Poehling ended the shutout five minutes into third, crashing Charlie Lindgren’s net. John Carlson scored a g– just kidding no he didn’t and never will again. John Tortorella rules-lawyered himself into a one-goal game with a successful challenge, making it a one-goal game late. John Tortorella sold his soul for a one-goal loss.
Caps win!
Alex Ovechkin scores 888th career goal, now 7 away from breaking the NHL goals record
- Alex Ovechkin has 888 goals, not counting the 72 he scored in the playoffs and untold billions washed out due to goaltender interference. Scoring his third against Flyers goalie Sam Ersson was a simple matter of getting to the back door just as Aliaksei Protas (mascot of r/caps lately) sent the puck his way. If Ovi keeps his current pace up, he’ll score 8.6 more goals this season, which would be … enough.
- Given Tuesday’s penalty-free game (weird, ick), the Caps had played 100-plus minutes of five-on-five hockey until the second period in this one. Wilson did a hook, and Dowd drew a trip, and then the team did the absolute worst thing possible…
- They committed their 13th too-many-men penalty of the season. (I’m sorry to do this again. Like them, I cannot stop.) That is simply too many too many men. That’s way too many additional Andys and redundant Randys. It’s a ceaseless satiety of saucyboys. We are overflowing with orb-ponderers and unnecessary underpants-wearers. It’s Y chromosomes in extremis up in here.
- I noted before that Nic Dowd drew a penalty, which made me look up when the last time he committed one was. January 16, 2025. A different era. Dowd also had a gorgeous assist on Carlson’s ungoal.
- John Carlson‘s last real goal was January 30. He had a crackerjack one in this game, but a hand-pass or some scurrilous alleged bullshit on Anthony Beauvillier nulled it out. Carlson has had
fourfive goals taken away this season. - And then, later, the Flyers drew within one as Sean Couturier jabbed at Lindgren’s blocker, covering the puck. The call on the ice was goalie interference, but Philly’s challenge was successful.
- I like to imagine what it’s like inside John Tortorella’s mind when he has to challenge a goal for something so obviously immaterial. It is counter to the core of his identity. I don’t know the man, but you just know he’s the kind of guy who calls other guys a certain pelvic slur a lot. He’s feeling extra cognitively dissonant tonight.
- Charlie Lindgren had a great outing. I don’t know exactly what Spencer Carbery’s plan means on a day-to-day basis, but personally I’m fine with a near 50/50 split.
- This was the 69th game of the season. Number 8 scored 888. 88 scored too. 2 scored 0 (0 2s on the team) but 3 got 1 A. 72? 0. The team: hundo. If they were to play this same number of games (69) at this same winning pace for 4.2 shortened seasons, that’d be 420 points. Just basic numerology, the kind you expect here at Russian Machine Never Breaks.
Bold spring colors#joebsuitofthenight pic.twitter.com/iGIYQrO0ql
— RMNB (@rmnb) March 20, 2025
Good game, fun game. The Flyers looked hungry in the third, controlling play and putting up a real fight. Goal challenges didn’t spoil it for me.
Now, listen. We’re not doing Loffs Watch this season. But you and I both know that the Caps are close to c****ing a b***h. When it happens, we’ll be on it, but you will not hear me (i.e. read me) uttering (i.e. typing) that phrase. Nope. Maybe from Katie, but if she does it, she will surely know I’m somewhere cringing. Awful phrase. Can’t explain why.
Next game is Saturday against a really good team, the Florida Panthers. Conference final preview?
