On Tuesday, Sportsnet freelancer and former Kings of Leonsis founder, Adam Vingan, tweeted what appears to be The Definitive list for the most handsomest head coaches in the NHL. Put together by researchers from gambling.com, the sports betting website used the beauty measurement app, Golden Ratio Face, to determine who was the sexiest coach and who was the most looks-challenged.
Despite the list’s vast reach and discussion on Twitter, I thought giving coverage to something so superficial, ridiculous, and kinda mean was beneath even our non-lofty standards of coverage. Yet, NHL beat writers started asking head coaches about the list and inadvertently gave it a Capitals angle, thus making it in bounds for YA BOI IAN OLAND.
— Adam Vingan (@AdamVingan) September 27, 2022
Forty-six-year-old Jay Woodcroft of the Edmonton Oilers was named the most handsome coach in the league, garnering a 9.18 score and finishing .28 ahead of second-place Darryl Sutter. Wait, thaaaaat Darryl Sutter? The one that has a vague resemblance to Tweety Bird and always looks confused? Derek Lalonde (Red Wings), John Hynes, and Paul Maurice rounded out the top five.
Canes head coach Rod Brind’Amour and Avalanche head coach Jared Bednar, two coaches considered to be very hunky, finished 10th and 15th respectively. Finishing one spot behind Bednar was former Capitals bench boss Bruce Boudreau.
— David Quadrelli (@QuadreIli) September 27, 2022
When notified of the creation of the list, Boudreau replied (via Canucks Army’s David Quadrelli), “Oh my god, I don’t want to be in that poll.”
“I have good news for you,” the reporter replied, “You’re ranked 16th overall.”
“There must have been an awful lot of blind people who made that poll,” Boudreau said, garnering laughs from the gaggle of reporters.
Boudreau was then asked if he had any guesses on who was the hottest/ugliest.
“No, I’m not going to say. I know who it is, but I’m not going to say.”
The coach that landed at the very bottom was current Capitals head coach Peter Laviolette.
This was a relief for Penguins head coach Mike Sullivan.
“As long as I’m not last,” Sullivan said per DK Pittsburgh’s Taylor Haase.
— Taylor Haase (@TaylorHaasePGH) September 29, 2022
Now, betting companies, please promise me to never come out with the hottest bloggers list. My feelings were already hurt enough in high school.
RMNB is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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