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🚽🚽🚽 Blue Jackets beat Caps 3-0 🚽🚽🚽

Y’all. I don’t know exactly what just happened here, but it seems that the Caps got turbo-trounced by the Columbus Blue Jackets. To kick off their longest and most important road trip of the season, the Caps got their butts kicked. In hindsight, I imagine, Washington’s training staff will regret having replaced the team’s sports drinks with whatever horse-tranquilizers-and-LaCroix mix they were obviously chugging on Tuesday night.

After a (mercifully) scoreless first period, Anthony Duclair scored for Columbus, exploiting a bad line change that created a three-on-one rush. In the third, Nick Foligno got a goal (again, on the rush) to settle the matter. Artemi Panarin added an empty netter.

Caps loose. I know that’s a typo but I’m keeping it. For stylistic reasons.

I feel like a soɯɐlᴉɐq is justified here.

  • Tom Wilson banged up Josh Anderson something fierce in the first period, but he came back for the second. I guess it was a wind-knocked-out-of-him kinda thing, with maybe a side of concussion protocol. Either way, the hit was clean and Anderson was fine.
  • This game was utter domination. Micah of hockeyviz shared these shot charts after the second period:

  • Yeah, defenseman Dmitry Orlov was responsible for a plurality of the team’s offense. Meanwhile, poor Devante Smith-Pelly (4 goals in 52 games) rang the post twice.
  • At the other end of the ice, the end of the ice where we spent wayyyyy too much time, Braden Holtby was superb, much to the chagrin of the saboteurs who have obviously infiltrated his hockey team.

  • Penalties are back. Did you miss penalties? Of course not. They never left. Don’t call it a comeback. They’re playing all the big hits: Kuznetsov hooking? That’s the explosive opener. Phantom trip reputation call on Tom Wilson? A fan-favorite deep cut. Kempny hooking? Oh, they’re playing one off the new record; let’s go get some beers.
  • The Blue Jackets should keep Panarin and Bobrovsky and see how far this ship will sail. They’re a good team, even if they’ll expire once free agency hits.

https://twitter.com/ianoland/status/1095479522516975617

From here the Caps head to San Jose for a (late) Thursday night date with the San Jose Sharks, who are very very good. One thing the Caps could try against them would be to play better hockey.

Full RMNB Coverage of Caps at Blue Jackets

RMNB is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHLPA, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.

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