I don’t know what the hell you people want from me. You come here, pitchforks in hand, spittle accumulating in the corners of your mouth, expecting me to try to dissuade you from leaving your rancid pee-pants comments below. You know I can’t stop you. I’m not even gonna try. I’m just gonna recap the Washington Capitals’ 7-2 loss to the Nashville Predators and then I’m gonna go to bed and dream about Martin Erat.
So. Viktor Arvidsson scored in the first period after the Preds intercepted a lateral pass intended for Ovechkin. Seven minutes later, Colton Sissons fed Nick Bonino on a two-on-one breakaway to make it 2-0 for the Preds. This didn’t seem so bad at the time, but I admit it was a simpler more innocent time and I now long for those days like I do my lost childhood, bathed in sepia tones and jangly indie pop.
In the second period Arvidsson notched his second goal with a wrist shot after some good low-to-high puck movement. Nicky Backstrom snuffed the shutout with an unorthodox power-play goal, but Arvidsson earned the hat trick while shorthanded just five minutes later. Rocco Grimaldi scored an unassisted goal and Nick Bonino deflected another before the period was up, just as we forgot the taste of bread, the sound of trees, the softness of the wind.
A person named Calle Jarnkrok scored in the third period. Then I think I blacked out until Kuznetsov set up TJ Oshie for a goal in garbage time.
CEPS LOOSE,
— – (@http_holtby) January 16, 2019
- Braden Holtby wisely injured his eye over the weekend so he did not have to play in this one. Holtby was reportedly well enough to play, but the Caps chose not to risk it and instead threw Pheonix Copley into the caldera and watched as he melted into oblivion. Copley saved just barely above 50 percent when Dmitry Orlov was on the ice, which is a fun fact in roughly the same way that diarrhea, although preventable and treatable with standard infrastructure and medicine, is nonetheless the number-one global killer of children is a fun fact.
- John Carlson wisely got himself ejected in the third period as he strategically harassed the officials. Carlson was rewarded with an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and a game misconduct. Tom Wilson likely imagined Carlson in the showers, sipping his post-game martini and chomping on a hot chicken, and chose to join him. He and PK Subban exchanged sufficient niceties to end their nights five minutes early with matching misconducts.
- I guess as part of his redemption tour, Tom Wilson punched Auston Watson in the face.
- Rocco Grimaldi scored a goal so gorgeous for a moment I forgot who I was, but then I remembered and now I’m left with nothing but an infinite ink-black sea of emptiness and the inexorable knowledge that one day I will die.
- After the Ovi-Kuzy pairing stank up the joint against the Blues, Alex Ovechkin and Nicklas Backstrom were reunited on Tuesday. It went great aside from the whole getting outscored 2-0 thing.
- Dmitrij Jaskin played for the first time in almost two weeks. He was one of the few Caps players not on ice for any Nashville goals. I hope we see him again soon.
it's like they're telling secrets #joebsuitofthenight pic.twitter.com/ibtRXuUwCV
— Peter Hassett (@peterhassett) January 16, 2019
When the schedule was announced, I circled this game. It was never going to be a winner. On the road against one of the best teams in the league who is well matched against the Caps on the second night of a back to back. This game was a destined loser. I didn’t think it would be a punishing 7-2 dare-you-to-watch kind of disaster game, but that’s what it was. I’m a sadder, less kind person for having watched. The world is colder, and I don’t think I like dogs anymore.
The Caps play next on Friday against Barry Trotz’s Islanders. We can’t let him see us like this. We have to win the breakup.
Headline photo: John Russell
