Sunday night, the Washington Capitals played the Calgary Flames at the Scotiabank Saddledome. The best moment of the night was at the beginning of the second period when CSN Mid-Atlantic cameras found adorable Cash Niebergall and the rest of his family in the stands. Alex Ovechkin had bought tiny Cash and his family tickets for the game. Ovechkin planned to meet with them afterwards.
“One of the assists for this should go to our friends at the Russian Machine Never Breaks for the heads up to the Capitals organization to let them know about [the family],” former NHL enforcer Alan May graciously said, giving our tiny blog a huge shoutout over the air.
But then Alan’s shoutout quickly turned to chirping.
“And I always see tweets to Ian at Russian machine that Alan rips him,” Craig Laughlin said, stirring the pot. “Now all of a sudden, he’s your good buddy.”
“Oh he’s not my friend,” May interrupted, his blood pressure rising. “He’s not my friend and he’s going to pay for his last few tweets when I get back to DC.”
“I started something again,” Laughlin laughed.
Over the last two seasons, Alan and I have traded some fun barbs back-and-forth on Twitter. This season began innocuously enough, but sometime around the time Alan abandoned his ties and the Caps went on their western Canada road trip, the nuclear button was hit. It was funny.
You guys, look who came out of hibernation in Texas for today's Caps game. @MayHockeyCSN! #ChirpingSeasonIsNowOpen pic.twitter.com/lfiJFR4SIB
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 9, 2016
@MayHockeyCSN Idea for a show after Caps Extra. Caps Extra EXTRA where me and you just chirp each other for 30 minutes.
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 16, 2016
@ianoland I work for money & your pockets are empty
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 16, 2016
Expect Ovi to score his first of the season tonight & celebrate like this pic.twitter.com/LDuoThri0T
— Alan May (@MayHockeyNBCS) October 18, 2016
This is also what Alan May looks like when there are pizza rolls in the oven https://t.co/Ha2LivzgfF
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 18, 2016
@ianoland people like me don't eat pizza rolls, but mama's boys like you do little Ian
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 18, 2016
Hey, @MayHockeyCSN, I think you forgot something. #wheresyourtie #dresslikeabloggerday pic.twitter.com/3aKzEIOYZ6
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 20, 2016
When I come over to basement blog @ianoland make sure you have these so I'm smiling in my underwear while blogging pic.twitter.com/AbGIbQZg4X
— Alan May (@MayHockeyNBCS) October 20, 2016
@MayHockeyCSN Come on, Al. I have some dignity. I wear shorts. #nopantsbetterblogging
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 20, 2016
@will_po @ianoland blogging requires Tito's, postgame win or loss requires Port City Wit
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 20, 2016
Inspired by Winnik's toughness, I'm going to push on through after getting a wisdom tooth pulled this a.m. Hit us w/ your best questions. https://t.co/4NmTocDKW9
— Tarik El-Bashir (@TarikCSN) October 21, 2016
@TarikCSN Where is @Danwinnik34's piece of ear currently and where is @MayHockeyCSN's tie?
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 21, 2016
@ianoland @TarikCSN @Danwinnik34 I'm getting it made into a new tie
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 21, 2016
@ianoland @TarikCSN @Danwinnik34 instead of little paisleys, it'll be tiny ears
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 21, 2016
@MayHockeyCSN @TarikCSN @Danwinnik34 It's honestly a good look #tinyears pic.twitter.com/yIBRpqG8rw
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 21, 2016
Alan "Business Casual" May doing some analysis @MayHockeyCSN pic.twitter.com/y3Yextmkd7
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 22, 2016
How was this not a penalty? pic.twitter.com/apeUwXAOdE
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 23, 2016
Because neither referee blew whistle and called one https://t.co/hRt6mFhEeJ
— Alan May (@MayHockeyNBCS) October 23, 2016
@MayHockeyCSN Thanks, Al. Was definitely going for literal there.
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 23, 2016
@ianoland it's really the only reason
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 23, 2016
Hey, look. It's my boy @MayHockeyCSN giving us some tie-less analysis #basicallyablogger pic.twitter.com/uD6tHJrOJ5
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 23, 2016
Can't wait to get to Edmonton on #Caps road trip to see my parents @cmcdavid97 @RogersPlace & maybe, just maybe drink some 🇨🇦beer pic.twitter.com/pe6jmFGyGX
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 25, 2016
@MayHockeyCSN Connor McDavid is your father?
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 25, 2016
@ianoland your Indian name would be basementboywholoveferret if you lived in the Great White north
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 25, 2016
@ianoland I'll put a comma next time dickweed, since you're now self-proclaimed part of the twitter grammar & prose police
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 25, 2016
@MayHockeyCSN basementboywholoveferret says thank you
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 25, 2016
My #Caps trip itinerary for first few days pic.twitter.com/NMJH8xPePB
— Alan May (@MayHockeyNBCS) October 25, 2016
@MayHockeyCSN @ianoland #sweatcasual too hot in the booth eh? pic.twitter.com/6AxeJNKi6L
— Speedy G (@ShOcKnAwEsOmE27) October 27, 2016
Here's what @MayHockeyCSN now looks like after my sick twitter burns earlier this week https://t.co/plvxv5qTvG
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 27, 2016
A small snooze in the COUV (it rhymes kinda) #AlanMayTieOfTheNight @MayHockeyCSN pic.twitter.com/taFAqSCDJm
— Ian Oland (@ianoland) October 30, 2016
@ianoland bad screenshots will result in two broken thumbs and one broken nose for someone in Frederick
— Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) October 31, 2016
@ianoland vs @MayHockeyCSN at WrestleMania?
— Jere (@OVECHKlN) October 31, 2016
Then the TV shoutout happened.
Over the last few years, May and everyone else from CSN Mid-Atlantic’s deep roster of on-air talent has jumped onto Twitter and all the other social media networks. It’s made being a Caps fan even more fun. We’re lucky to have such playful and down-to-earth commentators.
But yes, if you need to ask, my doors are padlocked and double bolted tonight.
Full disclosure: My wife made me write about this and since she is carrying my baby, I’m not saying no to her.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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