Urine (Photo: Tom Guilitti) 

Albert Camus portrayed existence as the mythical Sisyphus carrying a stone up a hill only to watch it fall once he reached the top. Sisyphus trudges down and starts over. He drags up the hill again, and again it drops. This story, Camus tells us, is just like life: meaningless, tedious, thoroughly absurd.

Just like Capitals playoff hockey!

Washington sure tried hard. They sorta dominated play in Game Three, but the universe is unconcerned with effort. The Caps lost. The rock rolled down the hill.

Patric Hornqvist got one first, scoring after a failed Caps clear. One minute later it was Tom Kuhnhackle’s turn, getting some lucky bounces to beat Braden Holtby.

The Caps were furious in the second period, but it was Carl Hagelin who struck, making it 3-0 after Nate Schmidt’s misplay in his own end.

In the third, Alex Ovechkin ripped one to the top corner to crack Matt Murray’s shutout. With a minute left, Justin Williams found an open net and scored. The Caps pushed hard in those final minutes, but the rock rolled back down the hill.

Penguins beat Caps 3-2. Penguins lead the series 2-1.

Pittsburgh. pic.twitter.com/CQ78aAPwZQ

— Ian Oland (@ianoland) May 3, 2016

• Braden Holtby entered Game Three with a .957 save percentage in these playoffs. Then he allowed two goals on three shots. Absurd.
• Kris Letang nearly injured Marcus Johansson. On the rubric of NHL penalties, Letang checked off these boxes: late, headshot, launched, and vulnerable player. But he did not injure Marcus, which means he’ll likely not get more than one game in a suspension.
• Johansson returned for the second period, and he was pissed. After that, our little Swedish firecracker lit up Penguins like a brand new person. Johansson was credited with nine hits, a personal playoff best.
• Shot quality? Yeah, we got that.

• Happy birthday to Jason Chimera and the Rock?
• Mister Goat Seven, Justin Williams, continues his troubled playoff campaign with another pair of penalties but hold on. If he were Dmitry Orlov’s age, Justin Williams would’ve been sat for a game. Instead, he caught a stick in the gut and waited until the final minute to score a crucial goal. Meaninglessness.
• Carl Hagelin just has Washington’s number. I hate him, he’s so good.
• That was a thunderous effort by the Caps in the waning minutes. They hit 50 shots on goal! It was dignified and fun to look at and everything my living room was not. I admired this game though it was silly.
• This is my compulsory Thank you, Alex Ovechkin for scoring that nifty roofer. Moar please.

Albert Camus laughing at the meaninglessness of existence of the night

The world and our place in it carry no inherent meaning. There’s no point. Our lives are banal, our endeavors futile. Sports and art and the new Drake album mean nothing to a cold and disinterested universe. Such is the nature of existence.

Over and over, we watch the Caps roll this rock up a hill. In a sense, we’re rolling that rock right next to them. Our challenge is to learn to love that rock. We have to realize that it’s silly for the Caps to be this bad for so long. We have to delight in that silliness.

This shit is bananas. Welcome to RMNB. See you on Wednesday.

Full RMNB Coverage of Game Three