Over the last six years, we’ve sold enough t-shirts to cover the naked torso of every man and woman living in Brunswick, Maryland. This happened despite the fact our Spreadshirt shop was a usability nightmare. You guys struggled though tiny buttons, even tinier text, and never-ending scrolling to buy merch. We really appreciate your support (I don’t know if we can ever say that enough), which is why I was tasked with redoing our merch store over the weekend.
Ten hours and five Red Bulls later, we have a responsive, easy-to-use t-shirt store that allows you to begin shopping by our designs, not our products. Plus, checking out is a breeze on your phone or tablet.
CLICK THIS MONDO LINK TO SEE OUR NEW STORE AND MY AWESOME HANDYWORK.
We’ve also created three new t-shirts for you and brought back a few old favorites. We’re also now offering sizes larger than 2XL, which has long been a request.
Let’s meet the new designs.
Goals By Dre
Andre Burakovsky is hands-down the Capitals’ finest young cinnamon roll. The adorable sophomore Swede is in many ways the future of this team, just like how this shirt is the future of your upper body.
Get the Goal by Dre shirt, put it on, pump some Avici tunes on your Zune, and boom: you’re the coolest person you know.
Sweatpants: GR8 For Every Occassion
Alex Ovechkin’s fashion sense is not everyone’s cup of tea. That makes sense: if everyone were a fashion rebel, that’d be chaos.
Ovi’s signature look is sweatpants-over-jeans, a look that simultaneously says, “whoops I put pants on twice” and also “I have no concern for my appearance right now.” We have attempted to capture this spirit with this shirt, celebrating the apex of lower-body fashion.
Getting off an airplane? SWEATPANTS.
Going to practice? SWEATPANTS.
Christmas dinner? SWEATPANTS.
NHL Awards? The only suit you own SWEANTPAAAAANTS!!
Get the Sweatpants shirt here.
KALE
A superfood for a super dude, kale is the staple of Brooks Orpik’s diet. The 35-year-old defensive veteran keeps in shape by depriving himself of milkshakes and bacon cheeseburgers. In their place: kale, which is actually pretty tasty, but you didn’t hear it from me.
Our new kale shirt will let the world know that you have learned the secret to staying peak physical condition AND earning $5.5 million per year. Double win.
